


To Quit This Act

by albinococonut23



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-13
Updated: 2014-07-26
Packaged: 2018-02-10 11:15:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 40,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2023047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/albinococonut23/pseuds/albinococonut23
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He did the things he did as a joke, and for <em>years</em> that was fine... but turning it into a <em>prank </em>changed everything entirely.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

  

The thing with Nino and Ohno, with Ohmiya, was that it had always been a joke. The reasons they did what they did, the groping and ‘I love you’s and occasional kisses (faked or otherwise) had been nothing more than a ruse to get the fangirls going crazy, to see what kind of rumors they’d fill their blogs with next.  
  


In the beginning they’d started small, but hand holding and leaning on each other gets old, so of course they had to take it up a notch, again and again until some people were sure they’d actually been married for years. It was Nino who started it and Nino who escalated it, but Ohno had always accepted everything and taken it in stride. Grinning along or playing along or just standing there as though he had no idea there was someone else’s hand on his ass at all. Nino did what they did because it was a joke, he got a kick out of Ohno’s responses (or lack thereof) almost as much as the responses from the fans. Sometimes he wondered how far things would go… whether this was a game of chicken or not. He wondered if Ohno was silently testing him, seeing just how far he would dare to take things, and as unsettled as that made Nino, he was also curious about just how much he _could_ do before Ohno would tell him to cut it out… It was like a challenge, to always push the envelope just that much further, and Nino was always hooked by a good challenge.

 

 

As a joke it was fine… but turning it into a prank had been a bad idea.

 

 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

 

“… What are you up to?” Sho frowned warily over his newspaper at Nino, who was crouched at the opposite end of the couch from the newscaster, fiddling with his bottom lip and smirking evilly into space just past Sho’s chin.

 

“Nothing…” He answered slowly, not looking at all innocent and not coming fully out of his (most likely wicked) thoughts.

 

“That’s way too suspicious!” Sho complained, glancing around the green room nervously for ADs in bear costumes and hidden cameras. “You’re planning something, and I know I’m going to end up embarrassed by whatever it is!”

 

“No no no, not you…” Nino replied, frowning as though the other man were slow for not knowing already. His head shot up when someone walked past the open doorway, quickly followed by his body as he leapt nimbly from the couch and sped into the hall. “Tsunoda-san! Can I have a minute?” He called, disappearing from sight. “I’m in need of some hidden microphones, and a couple cameras too…”

 

Sho worried his lip, finding it very hard to resume focusing on his newspapers when his nerves were so on edge that the slightest breeze from the fan on the back of his neck was making him jump in indignant fright. He never liked it when he knew Nino was planning something; it always left him jumpy for the rest of the day and that was almost worse than the prank itself.

 

 

 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

“Oh-chan, wait a minute…” Nino said suddenly, catching the older man by the arm as they followed the other three across the parking lot to where their van was parked. He looked nervous, almost timid –or at least he hoped he did. Surreptitiously he adjusted his baseball cap, glancing up at the mic clipped just under the brim and then past Ohno where he’d fastened a camera to a tall concrete pillar. Ohno turned back to face him, looking at his slightly taller friend with patient curiosity and not at all noticing the tiny lens in the dark fabric of Nino’s hat. Clearing his throat and forcing a straight face, Nino conjured up his acting skills in one deep breath. “I just… I want to talk to you for a second, if that’s okay.”

 

Ohno frowned, obviously sensing something serious about the way Nino was acting and being concerned by it. He glanced over his shoulder, seeing the other three disappearing around a corner before turning back with a nod. “Okay.” He said simply. “…Here?”

 

“Yeah, yeah this is fine…” Nino bit his lip to hold back a grin, instead trying to make his expression troubled. “Um, just-… Just give me a minute. I don’t know where to start…” He took a deep breath, having narrowly avoided a hysteric giggle. He didn’t understand how he could stay so cool and in-character when he was filming for dramas or movies, but could hardly control himself when it came to his pranks. And this was a special prank.

 

Objective: Observe Ohno Satoshi’s reaction to having Ninomiya Kazunari confess to him ‘seriously’.

 

“Are you okay, Nino?” Ohno frowned, leaning in towards him to try and make eye contact. He hardly looked startled to have Nino turn to him abruptly and grab him by the upper arms.

 

“Oh-chan… You know I love you…?”

 

“Love you too, Nino, but what’s wrong?” He responded, like he was on automatic.

 

“No… you don’t know. And that’s what’s wrong!” He lowered his gaze for a moment of emotional torment while Ohno’s frown deepened.

 

“...Nino?”

 

“I want you to know, to really know me… to know that I really love you.”

 

Ohno blinked, eyes widening slightly. “... What?” He blinked twice more, replying the way he normally would but sounding considerably unsure. “I mean, I know all that already…” He chuckled awkwardly, eyes shifted from Nino’s expression to the empty view of more parking garage behind him.

 

“Don’t laugh.” Nino said softly, letting his hands slip from Ohno’s arms and taking a half step back. “If this is all a game to you then tell me and I’ll back off, but please don’t laugh at me.”

 

“… Are you being serious?” Ohno asked, not betraying his thoughts at all through his expression.

 

“There are no cameras here, no fans, nobody to excite or freak out… it’s just us, Oh-chan.” Nino answered, he could practically see the cogs spinning in Ohno’s head. “I’ve never felt more silly or crazy or serious than I do when I’m with you.” It was really hard not to laugh at the cheesy lines he was spitting out coupled with the stunned look on his older friend’s face. His hand moved slowly towards his jeans pocket, reaching for the little Ni no Arashi ‘success’ piece of paper he’d stuck in there earlier.

 

Ohno surprised him before he’d managed to get more than his fingertips in, suddenly taking him by the hands and stopping his progression to the final step of his prank. “Nino.” He said, and something in his voice and expression had changed, but Nino was afraid to put a name on what that was. “… Hearing you say that makes me really happy.”

“…B-but?” Nino stuttered, eyes wide in fear.

 

Ohno shook his head. “I thought you were just doing it for fun, and- and I thought I was okay with that if that was all I could get. But now…” He smiled, and Nino felt like someone had just shot him in the stomach. “Now things can be different. Everything can mean something different.”

 

“…What are you saying?” Nino asked slowly, dreading the answer.

 

“I’m serious too, Nino.” Ohno said softly, stepping closer so he could press his lips chastely but tenderly to his friends.

 

Nino’s brain seemed to have been reduced to confused and horrified mulch, he felt barely aware of what exactly was going on anymore, but he did notice the brilliant genuine smile on Ohno’s lips when he pulled back and began tugging him to the waiting van by the hand.

 

Conclusion: … Not at all what he’d expected.

 

And he didn’t know what to say that would undo it now.

 

‘What took you guys so long?” Jun demanded in a bored tone, flipping through a magazine.

 

“Yes, give us all the dirty details!” Aiba snickered. “Jun wants to know!”

 

Jun punched him from across Sho, but not hard enough to hurt.

 

Ohno and Nino sat silently in the seats in front of the other three members, Ohno smiling blissfully and rather unaware. He gave Nino’s hand a squeeze before abandoning it to slip on a pair of headphones and tune out the world with a goofy grin.

 

The van started out of the building and into the blinding light of the outdoors. Sho leaned over the seat to eye Nino’s stupefied expression carefully. He couldn’t help the satisfied smirk that crept into his expression. It wasn’t often Nino returned from one of his mischievous escapades looking like a firecracker had just gone off in his brain. “Your prank backfired on you?”

 

Nino blinked and turned his gaze to him, letting it flicker past to Ohno before settling back on the newscaster’s smug and knowing look. “… You have no idea.”

 

 

Sho settled back into his own seat. Whatever had gone down, he couldn’t wait for it to air.

 

 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He did the things he did as a joke, and for _years_ that was fine... but turning it into a _prank_ changed everything entirely.

 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

“We can’t air that, okay? None of what the tapes caught can ever be aired.” Nino explained hurriedly into the mouthpiece of his cell phone. He kept glancing around nervously, waiting for someone else to finish their individual shoots and come looking for him, and so he kept his voice low. “It’s just too personal. And it didn’t work out anyway. There’s nothing in that footage that’s worth using… And just so you know, I’m not the only one who’ll kill you if it does get out. Johnny-san will be after you too.” He paused, relieved at least with regards to this problem. “I know you know, I’m just warning you to make sure.” He chuckled softly. “Thanks Hina-san.”

His phone hung up with an electronic chirp and he shoved it in his pocket before sinking down onto the couch. He sighed, barely refraining from running his hands through his hair and having the hair and makeup girls scold him for it later. 

He could kick himself for being so stupid. He’d played questionable pranks before, but this had been his absolute stupidest idea. Why hadn’t he noticed before? Why hadn’t he considered that Ohno could have been serious the whole time? Ohno hadn’t been testing him at all, he’d accepted everything Nino did because he wanted it, and he wanted it to be real…

If Nino didn’t already feel like an ass for playing the idiotic prank, then thinking about the torture he must have been putting Ohno through for all these years made him want to crawl into a dark hole and just disappear. He let out a growl of frustration and buried his face in his hands, only to nearly jump out of his skin when he felt a presence to his left, the shift of weight being added to the couch and tentative hands on his shoulder and back of his neck. Nino’s eyes snapped open as he jerked away from the touch in alarm. It was Ohno kneeling beside him, of course, but as Nino fell backwards Ohno lost the only thing holding him up, and he fell with him before he could catch himself.

Not that they hadn’t been in questionable looking positions with each other before –and this wasn’t even that bad-, but he was now all too aware of the warm press of Ohno’s stomach against the side of his thigh, the way his eyes looked at him with concern and affection (that was clearly not nearly as platonic as he’d previously thought) and some amount of embarrassment, the way his long fingers now seemed to burn where he held himself up with a grip on Nino’s shoulder.

It was awkward, and Nino had no idea how to react.

Had Ohno always felt this awkward when _he_ was the one lying about how he felt?

“You’re upset.” The brunette announced, perhaps in way of explanation for his current position –though he made no attempt to get up.

“I—… no…” Nino replied lamely.

Ohno looked at him silently for another moment before lowering himself down, folding his arms and pillowing his head in them on Nino’s chest. Nino gaped. Ohno smiled and his eyes crinkled up. “I wanted to cheer you up.”

“Oh…” Nino shifted a little. Ohno was a heavy weight on his ribcage and across his legs, almost like having a really big cat sleep on him. Nino craned his neck a little to try and put some space between himself and the older man’s naturally pouty lips. “Listen, Oh-chan…”

“Mm?”

“…What does this mean, exactly?”

A small crease appeared in Ohno’s brow. “‘This’?”

“You know,” Nino said, knowing he probably did and was just making sure, “us. What are we… now…?”

Ohno hummed thoughtfully, looking unsure again, like his confidence was draining out of him. It made Nino feel terrible. “Us… We’re Ohmiya, aren’t we?” He chuckled awkwardly, but let the sound die off when it didn’t get rid of the tension Nino was creating. His gaze dropped and he began fiddling nervously with a button on Nino’s shirt. “I don’t know. I thought-… Are you happy?”

“Happy?” He questioned the word, eyes stuck watching Ohno’s long, tanned fingers flicking and smoothing over the silver button.

“You know…” and Nino ‘s gaze flickered up just in time to see a soft smile spread on his friend’s downcast features, “when you said you loved me, I was really happy -I’m still happy-, and I thought that if you were telling the truth then-“

“Of course I was telling the truth!” He burst out in a fit of panic.

Ohno smiled that gentle, almost sad, smile again. “I know. I just thought that you’d be happy to hear that I loved you too… but you’ve been acting strangely all day.”

“I’m not acting strange!” He snapped nervously. Somehow, he couldn’t bear the thought of Ohno knowing it had been a lie. Not now. Not after he’d made him so frigging happy… And at the same time he couldn’t possibly let the lie continue, could he? That would be even worse! 

“I just meant-… I don’t know, did I do something wrong, Nino? I thought you’d want to hear how I felt, but now it feels like- like-“ He looked really upset now and Nino wanted to punch himself in the face for being the idiot source of all problems here. Ohno dropped his gaze again, blinking a little more rapidly than usual.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Nino said quickly. It was true; he was the only one to blame for the whole mess. “I am happy, Oh-chan, just… I was just upset because… because the parking lot wasn’t a very, uh, romantic place to… you know…”

“Confess.” Ohno finished for him, looking like his day had just been made… It probably had.

“…Yeah.” Nino sighed before he could stop himself. Every lie he told made things so much more twisted and cruel. He couldn’t stop for fear of hurting his friend, even though the more it grew and festered the more painful the truth would be later on.

“You still seem troubled, though.”

“It’s just a nasty headache, don’t worry about it.” That wasn’t a lie, at least. His head was pounding, and it was most likely from the stress. Distracted by his thoughts, he vaguely registered the loss of weight as Ohno lifted himself up and moved off the couch, and then was thoroughly startled when warm fingertips pressed against his temples.

“I want to help.” Ohno explained, standing bent over him and kneading small circles into his skin. Admittedly, it felt rather nice, and Nino felt himself quickly relaxing into the touch.His eyes that had closed of their own accord snapped open very suddenly, however, when Ohno’s hands moved to his legs, pulling to straighten them out so he was lying flat on the couch, rather than awkwardly bent with his feet still on the floor. That in itself hadn’t been a particularly shocking move, but Ohno then proceeded to climb up and straddle him, one knee on either side of Nino’s body and weight pressing down onto his waist area. 

“W-what are you doing?” Nino’s eyes were wide, as Ohno wiggled a bit to get comfy and then leant down so their faces were a foot or so apart.

“This is less awkward.” Ohno answered normally.

Nino would beg to differ, but Ohno’s fingers were back on his face, massaging from his temples up to his brow and down to his cheekbones. Nino’s eyes fell shut again; it was easier just to focus on how good it felt rather than on Ohno’s concentrated expression. One of Ohno’s hands began working the bridge of his nose while the other slipped into his hair, sifting through it soothingly, tugging just slightly enough that Nino tipped his head back a little. Ohno took the opportunity and the hand on his nose moved to work out the stiff muscles in the back of the younger man’s neck. 

Before he could stop himself, a low moan managed to sneak its way from Nino’s throat. He felt himself flush at how it sounded, and how he must look, but it felt far too good for him to open his eyes and shove the other man off of him. 

“What we are now… I don’t think we have to name it, do we?” Ohno spoke softly, like he was only musing aloud to himself. “We both know how we feel…” Nino tried not to wince. “…Now we can act on that.”

To his shock Nino felt Ohno’s words hit him in the form of hot breath, ghosting over his own lips. His eyes shot open and he reached out reflexively, grabbing the man on top of him by his shoulder to stop him from moving any closer and closing the inches of space between them completely. “Wait!” He almost gasped.

Ohno frowned at him curiously, concerned, and Nino froze.

Shit. He did not want to upset his friend _again_.

“Um… Oh-chan…” He swallowed, Ohno waited patiently for him to continue but made no move to back off. “… Can we not tell the others?”

“Hm?”

“About us… and whatever we have or are right now… Can it be a secret?” The last thing he needed was Aiba gushing over them or Jun _really_ calling them disgusting or Sho being all prudish and flustered over things he would previously have considered normal. Nino needed time to figure this out. Lying to Ohno was bad enough, but he didn’t want to lie to everybody else he knew as well.

Ohno looked thoughtful for a moment before smiling sweetly. “Okay, if that’s what Nino wants.” Nino nodded, realizing he felt like human scum every time Ohno looked at him the way he was then. “It’ll be our little secret!” He leant in while Nino was busy hating himself and pressed his lips to the younger man’s chastely at the exact moment that Sho walked in.

“Secret?!” He demanded, looking around for traps. “What are you planning—oh!” He broke off in an exclamation of surprise as his eyes landed on the two on the couch. He was just in time to see Nino looking like the world was ending around him while Ohno broke abruptly away from kissing him and scurried to the far end of the couch looking extremely guilty.

… That was abnormal behavior, Sho concluded. Even for those two.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He did the things he did as a joke, and for years that was fine... but turning it into a prank changed everything entirely.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Sho, Sho we’re not really together.” Nino said quietly, catching the newscaster on the way to the bathroom and following him.

“What?”

“Ohno and I, it’s not really what you think.”

Sho frowned at him. “I don’t think anything. You’re just crazy.”

Nino didn’t know _what_ to think. If Sho was pretending to be oblivious to cover for him then it was a kind gesture, but what he wanted right now was a chance to tell him the truth, not outright denial that he’d seen anything. “But you walked in on us ki-“

“-Ohno already told me he was just trying to get the candy back that you stole from him!” Sho exclaimed, frustrated by the other’s persistence when he rather had to pee.

Nino raised an eyebrow dubiously. “Wha-… You actually believed that?”

“You’re both insane, but I’m not crazy enough to think there’s actually anything going on between you two-“

“-I told Ohno I loved him as a stupid prank and now he thinks we’re dating.” Nino stated flat out. He was sick of beating around the bush.

Sho narrowed his eyes at him for a second, as if to tell him to stop messing with him. Nino continued to stare evenly and seriously at him, and watched as realization dawned on the older man’s face. His eyes went comically wide, mouth forming a large ‘O’ and chest swelling with a deep inhalation of shock and outrage. “Nino!” the air was forced back out again. “OH my-… Seriously?!”

“I’m terrible.” Nino moaned, Sho’s reaction only reinforcing his own opinion on the matter. “But in my defense, I had no idea he felt the way he did…”

Sho seemed to deflate in front of him, his shoulders slumping as he leaned limply back against the sink. “… This is bad. Have you told him it was a prank?”

“Obviously not!”

“Oh, right. He just kissed you.” Sho looked perturbed, and more than a little stunned by the whole situation.

“You’re supposed to be the smart one, Keio boy! Tell me what I should do!” Nino whined, beginning to pace.

“Hey, I’m not exactly skilled when it comes to giving out relationship advice, Nino.”

“ _What_ relationship?! The problem is that our ‘relationship’ is a total sham!”

“It’s not just love and whatnot that we need to be concerned about here, you know? I’m talking about your friendship. You don’t want to mess that up.”

“I know.” Nino grumbled. “But I don’t know how not to…”

“You’ve got to tell him, obviously. You’re not in love with him, are you? Well then you can’t let him go on believing you are. It’s cruel, and even more so the longer it goes on!”

“I know I know!” Nino exclaimed. “But I can’t just walk up and announce it to him, Sho! You didn’t see his face…” He sighed, running a hand through his hair agitatedly. “He’s really serious.”

Sho looked thoughtful and concerned, frowning deeply and fidgeting with obvious discomfort. He crossed and uncrossed his legs and then let out a soft distressed sigh that finally caused Nino to turn and glare at him.

“Are you coming up with a solution or what?”

“I _really_ have to pee.”

Nino rolled his eyes, leaving the newscaster to relieve himself and resolving to come up with his own plan… and _hopefully_ soon.

A staff member stopped him in the hall and dragged him back to the set where the photo shoot was taking place. They were done the singles shots and, after briefly messing with his hair, they shoved him out in front of the cameras to stand between Ohno and Jun.

“Hey,” Ohno said lowly as the three of them moved into a pose with their arms around each other’s shoulders. “I was talking to my mom a little while ago…”

Nino tried very hard not to look horrified, but he must have tensed because Jun winced and hissed at him.

“I’m sorry, Ninomiya-san, Matsumoto-san, could you try smiling please?”

Jun glared at him briefly before the two joined Ohno in smiling attractively at the photographer.

 _No no no no no!_ Nino’s internal voice screamed, but Nino knew he really shouldn’t have been surprised. Of _course_ Ohno’s mother was going to find out… he just hadn’t thought of that before.

The photographer paused to change the lens on his camera and Ohno continued where he’d left off. “She’s making extra curry, she said, if you want to come over when we’re done here…”

The invitation hung in the air for a long moment as Nino pretended to squint at the time on his watch. Lying to Ohno was one thing, but lying to Ohno’s mother was rotten on a whole different level.

“I know it’s not fancy, but…” Ohno trailed off, looking uncomfortable and a little self-conscious. Nino was really starting to hate that expression, it made his insides feel droopy and ashamed. Besides, Jun was being held captive by hair and makeup at the moment, but Nino could feel his nosy eyes on them from across the set. If he noticed Ohno acting all glum he’d be over the instant they were done straightening his collar, demanding to know what Nino had done wrong.

Nino had done a _lot_ wrong.

“No, no curry sounds great, Oh-chan.” Nino smiled, reminding himself that he’d joined Ohno’s family for meals on countless occasions in the past and there was no reason he had to think of this one as being any different.

Ohno beamed, and his genuinely sunny mood for the rest of the photo shoot made Nino decide that, though he liked neither expression, this completely blissful one made him feel even guiltier than the one before.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Sho sighed pleasantly as he finally got himself in front of the nearest urinal. He was worried about the situation with Ohmiya, he really was, but currently he was more focused on how good it felt to let go of what he’d been holding in for most of the photo shoot. He jumped and nearly made a rather embarrassing mess a moment later, however, when the toilet in one of the stalls behind him flushed.

Looking over his shoulder with wide and petrified eyes, Sho watched as one Aiba Masaki swung the stall door open slowly, looking appropriately shamefaced for having overheard his and Nino’s earlier conversation. “Hi, Sho-chan…” He greeted with a wave, smiling sheepishly.

Sho gaped like a fish out of water, torn between panicking over what could possibly go further wrong now that the most meddlesome and overly enthusiastic member was in on the secret, yelling at the younger man, and perhaps bursting into tears. Instead he frowned. “Wash your hands, Masaki.”

There were worse people who could have overheard, he supposed. Aiba would probably try to fix the problem and make it worse, but people like… well, Jun, for example, would likely throw a bitch fit and make everyone upset and angry with each other and then _still_ make the problem bigger (particularly when it came to problems of this sort of personal variety).

“So, Sho-chan…” Aiba started, drying his hands with a strip of paper towel as Sho did up his pants and busied himself at the sink. “What are we going to do?”

“First of all, we need to establish some rules about this…” Sho began, rinsing the soap bubbles from between his fingers.

“Rules? …Like ‘don’t tell Jun’?”

Sho blinked. “Uhm, yes. Exactly.” Aiba beamed. “But we shouldn’t let anybody else know the truth either, okay? And we definitely can’t let Ohno know… It’s better if Nino’s the one to tell him.”

“So all you plan on doing is keeping it quiet.”

“…Well, yes…” Sho frowned suspiciously, turning off the faucet and moving around the taller brunette to get at the automatic towel dispenser. “Why? What are you planning, Masaki?”

“Oh you know… I’ve just got a few little ideas to expand on…” The sparkle in Aiba’s eyes was anything but innocent.

“Don’t get involved! Nino’s just got to tell him the truth and everything will be solved. He doesn’t need us making things complicated.”

“Sho-chan!” Aiba exclaimed, sounding somewhere between exasperated, appalled, and teasing. “You don’t get it at all! What if _you_ were in love with me, and I said I loved you too?” He draped his arms around the newscaster in a loose hug, resting his head on Sho’s sloping shoulder. “Wouldn’t you be suuuuuper happy?”

Sho’s cheeks flushed all the way up to his ears as he shrugged Aiba off and tossed his paper towel into the garbage bin. “W- _well_ …-“

“And imagine if then I told you ‘hey, sorry Sho-chan but I was just messing around! Ha-ha, you fell for it, _baka_ _!’_ , wouldn’t you be really sad?”

“I think Nino plans to let him down gentler than _that,_ Aiba!”

“You’d probably cry, ne Sho-chan…?” Aiba continued, giving the flustered newscaster a gentle shove.

Sho’s mouth fell open indignantly. “I would not!”

“Anyway, it doesn’t matter if he’s gentle about it or if he _screams_ it at him, Sho. Either way, Leader’s gonna be really hurt.” He paused thoughtfully and then his eyes went almost comically wide. “And he’s our _Leader!_ Sho, what if he’s so hurt and embarrassed that he can’t stand staying in the same group as Nino!? What if Arashi breaks up!? What are we going to do?!” He grabbed his older friend by the shoulders, eyes round and shining as he almost shook him in his panic.

Sho would have liked to say that Aiba was overreacting… but he gulped instead. There was something about Aiba that was infectious. If he laughed you laughed too –whether you’d heard or understood the joke or not-, his very presence could raise the tension of a room to his enthusiastic level, and if he was having a down day –which he tried very hard not to have, ever- then everyone around him felt it. As a result, Sho couldn’t stop a bit of Aiba’s panic and worry from transferring over to him… It didn’t help that that worry was for their closest friends, and for Arashi. “Arashi isn’t going to break up.” He said, knowing he couldn’t let Aiba continue to panic or else the whole Jimusho would know about the problem by the day’s end. “Calm down, okay? We’ll think of something.”

Aiba closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and releasing his death grip on Sho’s shoulders. Sho reminded himself not to wear anything sleeveless for a couple of days as he was probably going to have bruises.

“Okay…” Aiba said, taking another moment to relax before sighing and giving Sho a reassuring smile. “Okay. I’ll work really hard and come up with a plan.”

“Oh boy…” Sho murmured, but Aiba either didn’t hear him, or A no Arashi had really gotten him used to ignoring Sho’s skepticism.

“And since Sho-chan is so logical, you can be the voice of reason when you’re helping me put it into action!” He beamed like he believed nothing could possibly go wrong.

Despite his worst fears, Sho found himself smiling back.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He did the things he did as a joke, and for years that was fine... but turning it into a prank changed everything entirely.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

The train ride was crowded, and Nino didn’t have time to worry or drown in his self-deprecating thoughts when he was so busy trying not to squish Ohno between himself and the wall. They practically tumbled out when the doors opened at Ohno’s stop, and while they walked the couple blocks from the station to the older man’s house, they joked and laughed together like they always had.

“That woman looked nothing like me!” Nino laughed, pushing Ohno playfully.

“I think she did, though!” He countered, stumbling and hurrying back to walk alongside his slightly taller friend.

“She was huge! And old, Oh-chan! Get your eyes checked, I’m _much_ more attractive.”

“She had a mole on her chin though!” Ohno argued. “Almost exactly like yours… except bigger, and hairier…”

“Gross!” Nino exclaimed with a burst of laughter, shoving him again for good measure. “Stop picking on my mole, you jerk.”

Ohno laughed giddily, coming back to his side again and twining his fingers and Nino’s together comfortably. “Nino’s is cute, though. I like yours better.”

Nino hesitated, torn between pulling his hand away and consequently ruining the good mood or pretending nothing about the purely friendly atmosphere had suddenly just changed. But it wasn’t like they’d never held hands before, right? “Yeah and you’d better mean it too, if you think I’m helping you with the dishes tonight!” He teased instead, starting to swing their arms in such dramatically long swings that it made Ohno giggle, which made Nino laugh too.

It was a lot less intimate that way.

It started to rain but they reached Ohno’s house quickly, skipping like silly schoolchildren up the stairs to the porch and huddling close to the door while Ohno fumbled to unlock it. “I’m home!” He called, stepping inside with Nino close behind him. They removed their shoes and waited for a response, but the house was dark, and nobody answered. “…Mom?” Ohno yelled louder, frowning in confusion as they left the genkan, flicking on lights as they went.

“I don’t think anybody’s home…” Nino frowned too, looking around the otherwise silent house as Ohno led the way into the kitchen. There was a note on the counter, and he leaned over Ohno’s shoulder to read it with him.

 _‘Sorry, Satoshi! I forgot I’d promised your sister we’d go to her house party tonight! It completely slipped my mind, so it looks like you and Ninomiya-kun will have the house to yourselves…’_ This was followed by a winking smiley face. _‘Curry is on the stove, put it in the fridge when you’re done with it and have a good time sweetie! Oh, I rented a couple of movies for you two if you get bored. And don’t think you have to wait up for me! Mina’s guest room looks really comfy and I plan on trying it out! See you tomorrow! XXOO’_

“Oh.” Ohno said, still frowning slightly as he put the piece of notepaper down. “I didn’t know Mina was having a party…”

Nino highly suspected that there _was_ no party. It would be just like Ohno’s mother to try and set them up like this if she thought they were together… He didn’t mention that to her oblivious son though. He didn’t want him getting any ideas. “Did you want to go to it? I don’t mind going home if you do.” He said instead.

Ohno laughed, shaking his head and pulling two bowls from a cupboard to serve the curry into. “No, you’re here anyway, and Mina’s parties are kinda boring. I’d probably just end up watching the kids all night if I went…”

“Oh... okay.” Nino accepted his bowl gratefully. The sudden rain shower had left him a little damp and chilly and the curry was not only still hot, but smelled delicious.

Though as good as it tasted, the two of them eating quietly across the table form each other was still a little awkward. Ohno probably didn’t notice, as accustomed as he was to not talking, but Nino couldn’t help but fidget nervously. He cleared his throat between bites. “Your mom’s a really good cook…”

“Hm? Oh, yeah.” Ohno smiled. “She’d be happy you think so.” He sat back in his chair, having emptied his bowl, and watched Nino pick at what was left in his. “… Are you done?”

“Yeah, thanks. It was good… I’m just not very hungry today.”

Ohno took both of their dishes over, leaving them in the sink with a promise to wash them later. Nino hung around and teased him for being so lazy while Ohno busied himself with putting away the leftovers. Again the awkwardness was dispelled, and as it was still fairly early they decided to put on a movie to waste some time. Of course, both of the rentals happened to be romance movies. Of _course_.

Ohno scrunched his nose up. “They’re both chick flicks…”

“I wonder why.”

After a moment of interpreting his sarcasm, Ohno blushed. “Oh… She did this on purpose.”

“Probably.”

“Umm…” He looked between the DVDs in his hands, the television, and Nino uncomfortably. He was very obviously unsure about what to do now that his mother’s plan was out in the open.

Nino sighed, smiling despite himself at the conflicted expression of confusion and embarrassment on the older man’s face. “Might as well watch one of them. She spent money on them, after all. It’d be a waste for us not to.”

Ohno chuckled gratefully, nodding his head at Nino’s logic. “Do you have a preference?”

Nino peered at the titles. ‘Koizora’ and ‘Boku wa Imouto ni Koi wo Suru’. They were both going to be romantic, so he quickly calculated which one would be a less awkward to watch with his best friend who was in love with him. “Koizora.” He said a moment later. It was a depressing movie, he knew that much. He also knew that the other one had a lot of sexual tension, and that spelt awkward to a T. “I’m not really in the mood for incest.” He said by way of explanation for his choice. “Or for watching Jun get it on.”

Ohno laughed again, agreeing with him and putting the DVD in the player. The two of them scrambled up onto the couch, making themselves comfy in the dark as the movie’s menu came up on the wide screen. When the ending credits rolled across the screen some time later and Nino wiped his eyes surreptitiously on his sleeve, only then did he notice that Ohno was curled against him, holding his hand tightly and sniveling miserably at the tragic ending.

He supposed the reason he hadn’t noticed earlier was that they’d always sat together like this.

Rather than change position, they stayed where they were to chatter about the movie and random pointless things. The late hour and the day’s work began to catch up to them, making their limbs heavy and their eyelids droop.

Just before he drifted off entirely, Nino wondered why it was so easy to be comfortable with Ohno.

 

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  
“Sho-chan!”

A voice whispered obnoxiously loudly, and Sho peeked over his newspaper to find that he was no longer alone in the green room. “Good morning Aiba.” He greeted the other man slowly, put-off a little by the manically excited grin on the younger’s face.

“Guess what! I figured out a plan!”

Sho would have pointed out that he couldn’t possibly guess if Aiba wouldn’t give him the chance to do so, but he was more concerned by the second statement. “A plan? What _kind_ of plan? You haven’t done anything yet, have you?”

“No, not yet. I wanted to consult with you first!” He leapt onto the couch beside him, bouncing a bit and nearly knocking the older man over.

“Oh… that’s very sensible of you.” Sho said. “But what, exactly, do you have planned?”

Aiba leaned closer, his goofily wide grin clearly unable to contain his excitement and ruining the conspiratorial look he was going for. “The plan is… we make Ohno fall _out_ of love!”

“… That’s your plan?”

“Yes!” Aiba widened his eyes as though he couldn’t understand why Sho wasn’t grinning madly along with him. “It’s genius, right?! I mean, it’s _Nino_ , I think we can do it!”

Sho sighed. The point Aiba was missing was that Ohno clearly liked Nino _because_ he was Nino. If he’d felt the way he did for a long time, then Sho doubted any schemes of Aiba’s would make him see the light or change his mind. “Aiba… I don’t-“

“Where is everyone? All we need now is for Nino to get here so we can tell him what’s going on!”

Sho frowned. “So you weren’t _really_ consulting with me after all…”

Aiba probably didn’t even hear him, as he jumped excitedly to his feet upon Ohno’s entrance. “Leader! Guess what!” He exclaimed cheerily. “I think Nino might have a girlfriend, you know?”

Ohno frowned. “A girlfriend?...”

“Yeah!” Aiba grinned, slinging an arm around the oldest member’s shoulders and pulling him further into the room. “I do believe I saw him at a club last night with a girl I didn’t recognize…”

“Oh!” Ohno laughed, causing Aiba and Sho to exchange a confused glance. “You must have mistaken somebody else for him.”

“I don’t think so…” Aiba continued. “I’m _sure_ it was-“

“Nino was with _me_ last night, though. He spent the night at my house.” Ohno clarified just as Nino made to walk in through the doorway behind them.

Sho watched the gamer turn blood red and dart off to wardrobe in what was practically a sprint, wearing what Sho suspected were a pair of Ohno’s jeans and one of his ratty old t-shirts. Ohno himself meandered over to a chair at the counter across the room, picking at his hair in the mirror and then immersing himself in a fishing magazine.

Aiba’s face had fallen into pursed lips and a frown. He moved slowly back to sit beside Sho, who watched him curiously for a whole minute before Aiba turned to face him thoughtfully and spoke. “I think… perhaps we’re going about this _entirely_ the wrong way…”

Sho agreed, but his question would be whether or not there was a _right_ way.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He did the things he did as a joke, and for years that was fine... but turning it into a prank changed everything entirely.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  
“Nino?”

“We didn’t do anything Aiba. We just fell asleep.” Nino growled, not taking his focus off of his DS screen. Aiba was acting like he knew something, and Nino didn’t like it.

“I know.” Aiba said sweetly, sliding into the chair beside him, though it was only meant to seat one person. “Did you have fun with him?”

Nino glanced at him suspiciously from the corner of his eye. “… I suppose. Why? What are you trying to get at?”

“Oh nothing, I’m just curious…” Aiba looked up and away, smiling smugly. “…Aren’t you curious?”

Nino narrowed his eyes at him, wriggled out of the chair and walked away without bothering to answer. He didn’t miss the thumbs up Aiba aimed in Sho’s general direction a moment later. They were definitely up to something, and Nino wasn’t one bit pleased. “Are we almost done here?” He called tiredly, approaching their manager who was having a polite conversation about something or other with the interviewer.

“Yeah!” Aiba chimed much too excitedly, bounding over. “Are we done?!”

Their manager frowned at the two completely different tension levels and then nodded. “Uh, yes. You can go ahead and change.” He bowed to the woman who’d interviewed them, thanking her for her time, and then turned back to his five charges with his day planner in hand. “Ninomiya-kun, you have drama filming next though, and then an audition after that. Don’t forget.”

“I know.”

“Matsumoto-san also has a press conference about his new movie.” He raised his head, looking for the youngest member lounging at the back of the room. “You’d better hurry, it starts in two hours.”

“Yes sir.” Jun yawned, standing up and stretching before heading for the exit. The rest began following close behind him.

“You other three have the rest of the day free, I suppose. I’ll see you tomorrow!” He flipped a page distractedly, pulling a worn-down pencil from behind his ear and scribbling something into the page’s margins.

“You seem tired, MatsuJun…” Ohno said, walking arm and arm with the youngest member at the front of the pack.

Jun smiled. “’Been busy.” Was his truthful response. “You seem well-rested though, you lazy thing.” Ohno just laughed, glancing over his shoulder subconsciously. Nino felt his cheeks starting to flush again and silently cursed at how easy it was to make him blush. He could feel Aiba and Sho watching him. Jun didn’t notice. “What are you doing with your day off, Leader?”

“Mmm…” Ohno hummed thoughtfully. “It’s nice out today, so I think I’ll go fishing for a while.”

“Of course.” Jun rolled his eyes affectionately and Ohno laughed again.

“It’s been a couple weeks now since I last went!” He protested.

“Make sure you wear sunscreen, Oh-chan.” Nino blurted, causing the older man to smile widely at him and nod as they separated to move into their dressing rooms. “I mean, makeup will kill you if you get any darker, you know…” Behind him, Aiba was giggling, being ushered away by Sho. Nino paused to calm himself and refrain from causing the tall man serious injury before disappearing into his own dressing room.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

“Could you be any more obvious, Aiba?” Sho hissed, letting go of the younger man’s arm once everybody else had vacated the hallway. “You’re gonna make him mad at me for telling you.” He shook his head, opening his own dressing room door and going inside. He swung it closed as he passed through, but instead of the click it should have made upon impact with the frame, there was a small ‘oof’. Sho turned back around curiously, fingers already at the collar of his shirt, to find Aiba rubbing his shoulder and closing the door behind himself. “What are you doing in here?” He demanded with a frown. “This is where _I_ get changed. We’re not sharing a dressing room!”

“But I have to talk to you!” Aiba explained, plopping himself down onto the chair by the mirror and spinning it around to face the newscaster. “Don’t worry, I won’t look.”

Sho gaped for a second, dropping his hands with the first two buttons of his shirt hanging open. “You’re looking right now!”

Aiba rolled his eyes. “At your face. And it’s not like we haven’t all seen everything anyway.” It took him a lot of effort and some violent lip biting to keep from laughing out loud at Sho’s red and flustered expression. Ahhh, this was one of his favorite pastimes…

Sho pursed his lips, crossing his arms defiantly. “Just, turn around.”

Aiba raised an eyebrow and did so, grinning at Sho’s reflection in the mirror. “Better?” He couldn’t help snickering.

“…Shut up.” Sho pouted, floundering around before spotting a big shopping bag crumpled up in the corner. He grabbed it, billowing it out and sticking it over Aiba’s head.

“Hey!”

“Just leave it for a minute, you won’t suffocate.”

“I might.”

“Well, don’t. It won’t take me long to get out of this stuff…”

“If I _do_ , you’ll have to give me CPR.” Aiba said casually. “…Whether you’ve got any clothes on yet or not.” He paused and then laughed. “Wouldn’t it be hilarious if someone walked in on that?”

There was only the hurried rustling of clothes as Sho refused to answer, and it still made Aiba laugh loudly because he knew Sho’s expression was priceless.

“…Anyway, Sho-chan,” he said after a moment of listening to Sho fumble around at the table in the back, murmuring something about ‘missing pants’ in a slightly panicked tone. “I’ve got another step in the plan ready to go, wanna come with me?”

“… I don’t know. Come with you where?” He asked suspiciously, suddenly sighing with relief upon finding his missing garment under a stack of newspapers.

“To the TBS Broadcasting Center!” Aiba exclaimed happily.

“Why?!” Sho pushed, belt buckle clinking metallically as he fastened it. “You don’t have any work today, why are you going there?”

“Nino’s going there to audition for a movie later.”

“I- You-…No, Masaki!”

“Yes he is…”

“No, I mean you’re not going there to harass him. He’ll punch you. _I’ll_ punch you… and then I’ll ban you from ‘helping’ with this anymore.”

“No! Sho-chan, no! He won’t even know we’re there! He’s filming the last episode of his drama right now, so we’ll go in and talk to the director ahead of time!”

Sho pulled his T-shirt over his head and sighed wearily. “Aiba…”

“You’re done, right? Can we go? It’ll be bad if we’re late and he catches us…”

Another sigh and Sho bent over to gather his things. “…Yeah. Fine.”

Aiba leapt to his feet, heading towards the door bouncily. “Great!” He said, pulling it open. “I’m gonna get changed real quick, you go start up your car. I’ll meet you in the parking lot in five minutes!”

‘Aiba-chan,” Sho frowned, “take that bag off your head before you fall and kill yourself.”

“It’s fine,” Aiba replied cheerily, whipping it off and tossing it haphazardly back into the dressing room as he ran towards his own across the hall. “It’s pretty see-through anyway!”

However much he wished he could have seen the undoubtedly tomato-ish color of Sho’s face, Aiba had the sense to close and lock his door just in time to avoid being strangled by the older man.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  
 “Kato-san!” Aiba near exploded in happy-to-see-you enthusiasm when he was allowed entrance into the studio where auditions for the very movie Nino was trying out for were going to be held. Sho knew the hyperactive man well enough to know that most of that excitement he was displaying was just that, a display. Since there were no cameras around to be putting a show on for, Sho assumed it was because Aiba wanted something and was going to use his appeal as the-adorably-happy-guy-you-just-can’t-say-‘no’-to in order to get whatever it was he’d come there looking for.

Sho followed him in warily, bowing to the staff that had opened the door and nearly gotten bowled over by Aiba’s hurricane of happy. His gaze followed his friend’s beeline across the room and recognized the man he was chattering friendly greetings to. Kato Arata. He was a director he’d worked with on Tukujo Kabachi!!, a director who’d also worked with each of the other Arashi members on other shows (Nino in Stand Up!!, MatsuJun in Kimi wa Petto, Aiba in Yankee Bokou ni Kaeru, and Ohno in Maou). “Oh, Kato-san…” He greeted, approaching the two.

“I brought Sho-chan with me!” Aiba grinned, pulling Sho close by the arm the instant he was within reach. “Because we have a proposal for you~!”

“A proposal?” The director asked, fighting back an amused smile at Aiba’s antics. Sho was afraid to hear what Aiba was dragging him into, but also curious about whether or not the director would agree to go along with it. He knew the guy had a soft spot for Arashi, and that usually meant having a big weakness to Aiba’s charms as well. It was almost a package deal.

“Yeah! I’ve heard you asked Ninomiya-kun to come and audition today, right?”

“Mm, that may be so, but even if you ask me I can’t guarantee him the part, you know…”

“Oh, I know! That’s not why we’re here.”

“Oh?” Kato-san let out a short, surprised, laugh, crossing his arms and leaning back against the long table behind him.

“I don’t want you to give him the part.” Aiba grinned, Sho and the director frowned in confusion. “Ninomiya-kun…uh… let me look at his script earlier today.” Sho’s frown deepened, distinctly remembering Nino warning Aiba _not_ to touch his things. “So I know the storyline, and I’ve been thinking… Nino doesn’t really suit that part, ne? I couldn’t help but feel that it didn’t suit him at all, for some reason, and even stranger was that I was getting confused because I kept accidentally picturing him playing that other character, Nobuta-san! Isn’t that weird?”

The director chuckled again. “So you’re saying you want me to give him the part of the second brother instead?”

Aiba blushed, doing a very loud and impressively real-looking embarrassed giggle. “Ah, well, I was just really excited about it when I pictured it that way, and I thought ‘What if this is a big missed opportunity for Ninomiya-kun?! I need to tell somebody!’ So I came straight here to you. Maybe I’m overreacting a little, though…” Another giggle. Sho almost shook his head in awe at the amount of overwhelming adorable the younger man could exude when he was really trying. It almost made the newscaster want to get down and beg Kato-san to do anything Aiba wanted him to.

“Well… It’s definitely an interesting idea.”

“Isn’t it?! I think Nobuta-san is a character that would be... uh… really complimented by Nino’s acting style, right? He could totally do that deep but subtle romance thing well, you know? Ahhhh, Kato-san! I’m excited just thinking about it!” He bounced on the spot, looking like an overgrown kid opening a Christmas present.

“Yes… Yes.” Kato-san looked seriously deep in thought, obviously considering the idea. “I’ll tell you what, Aiba-kun. I’ll have him audition for both roles, okay? We’ll see how that turns out and then I’ll think about it some more.”

“Really?! Ah, wow, I’m really really excited here! Aren’t you excited Sho-chan?!” He turned to Sho, who smiled though he was more confused about where this was going than anything.

“Hm… the only problem is the actor I was starting to consider for Shunsuke… If Ninomiya’s playing Nobu then they wouldn’t really match, huh?...”

Sho braced himself to endure one of Aiba’s kicked-puppy pouts and then _not_ give in to buying him ice cream on the way home, but instead found Aiba’s grin growing creepily wide. Sho frowned in alarm. That expression was not a good one.

“…I think… I might have one more suggestion, then, Kato-san…” Aiba ventured slowly. “Excuse me for wanting to play ‘Casting Director For a Day’, that’s not really my aim, but I know someone who would complete the Nobuto and Shunsuke pairing _perfectly_.”

Kato-san raised an eyebrow in interest, and Sho knew already –even as he guessed where this was going- that Aiba had won.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He did the things he did as a joke, and for years that was fine... but turning it into a prank changed everything entirely.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

_“It’s… a story about two brothers who move back to the countryside from the city once their mother dies. Their grandparents and the other older people in the town are all very old-fashioned in their thinking and ideals and the brothers have a hard time adjusting to their new life and these family members they haven’t seen since they were very little, while coping with their own problems as well. It’s a story about family and the gaps in understanding between people… It’s a good cast. I play the younger brother, Fujiwara Nobuto.”_

“Yes, it really does seem to be a star-studded cast. Oguri Shun-san plays Fujiwara Yasuo, the older brother.”

“Right. I’m looking forward to working with him again.”

“And, we’ve heard your fellow group member, Ohno-san, plays an important role as well… He wasn’t available for the interview today, but could you tell us more about that?”

“Uh… yeah. Ohno-kun plays Yamamoto Shunsuke. He’s a guy who has spent his life living in the countryside. His family owns a small fishery and he likes working for them but is always daydreaming about the world outside of his little hometown… Ohno-kun’s a pretty good fit for him, and he’s really excited to be playing a fisherman.”

“Interesting, but, Ninomiya-san, we’ve heard rumors about the relationship between your two characters.”

“Haha… rumors?”

“Yes, isn’t there a romantic plotline between Nobuto and Shunsuke?”

“Oh… Haha, yeah, there is that… See, um, Nobuto has never told anyone about his orientation, and he doesn’t plan to until he ends up falling for Shunsuke. Then the problem of whether or not their families and the community will accept them comes up, because it’s a small town with a really old-fashioned way of doing things… But even if they try to keep it secret, somebody’s bound to find out sooner or later, you know? There’s that kind of conflict. And because it’s Shunsuke’s hometown, Nobuto doesn’t want to ruin Shunsuke’s relationships with his family and neighbors, so he’s not sure if it’s even something worth pursuing at all…”

“Wow! That sounds really dramatic. So it’s going to be a very emotion-packed film.”

“Yes, definitely.”

“Are you concerned about it?”

“…Hm?”

“Are you worried about it being awkward, between you and Ohno-san?”

“Oh… No, not really... Because it’s Oh-chan, we’ve known each other long enough that we’re pretty comfortable together, right? So I think it will be a lot less awkward with him than it would be if any other actor were playing that role.”

“Ah, yes. That’s understandable. Well, that’s all the time we have. Thank you for giving us a little insight into your new film project.”

“Thank you for having me.”

“Filming for ‘Orenji no Sora no Shitano Aoi Umi’ (Blue Seas under Orange Skies) begins this week. The film is expected to be released early next year.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Nino’s answer to the last question had been mostly bullshit, if he was being honest. Acting such a duo with Ohno was going to be both really awkward, and not particularly at all… it depended on how he looked at it. On one hand, getting into the character of someone in love with Ohno’s character was going to be much more difficult for him to do than it should be, given their current situation _off_ camera… On the _other_ hand, he wondered if it was even _possible_ for things to get more awkward than they already were… He considered that pretending to be in love with him on camera would likely be much less stressful than it was to continue doing so behind the scenes.

It seemed too convenient, like some higher powers were conspiring with everybody he knew to make his life even more hellish than he himself had done. He almost fainted when he heard how the casting for the film had turned out. Where did the last minute decision to cast _Ohno_ come from?! If he didn’t respect the director as much as he did he would have complained and started raving about conspiracies and the like. As it was, he came very close to letting Kato-san down and dropping out of the production, but he knew his manager would have been angry with him for doing so, and Ohno would probably be suspicious if he couldn’t come up with a good enough reason for doing so at such a late stage in the game.

Speaking of which, the weight of the new video game in the bag he was carrying was providing at least some sort of comfort. He had every intention of going home and spending the next couple of days he had off _completely_ immersed in blasting robots and walking skeletons until the first day of shooting for the movie. He sighed deeply, leaving the electronics section and wandering slowly towards the nearest exit of the department store. He was almost there, the automatic doors were in sight, when he saw a familiar female figure standing just to their left, facing his direction and picking through a clothes rack.

_Oh no! No, no, no, NO!_

He backpedaled immediately, sluggish limbs taking him a step back and then another, but he couldn’t turn away and run for it quite fast enough.

“Ah! Ninomiya-kun?!”

He had the sense not to curse out loud, instead forcing a polite smile on his previously panicked expression. “Ohno Kaa-san, how are you?”

Ohno Satoshi’s mother smiled warmly, eyes crinkling the same way her son’s did, and beckoned him over. “I’m wonderful! Come over here and let me have a look at you!”

Nino obeyed, itching to excuse himself and make a dash for the exit behind her but forcing himself to stay calm. This was _way_ too awkward for his liking, but it was hard not to have a soft spot for Ohno’s mother.

“Oh my, you look _exhausted!_ Have you been sleeping well, Ninomiya-kun?”

“I’m fine.” He smiled at her concern. “Work has just been a little stressful lately.”

“Right, Satoshi told me he’s going to be in a movie with you!” She laughed quietly, speaking behind her hand as though passing on a secret, even if there was nobody else around. “I think he’s nervous, you know? He keeps going on about how talented you are, Mr. Hollywood.” A giggle, she straightened up again, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You’ll have to give him some pointers, okay?”

“Ah, but he’s a very good actor too… He doesn’t need to be nervous about that…”

“You’re right, not as long as Ninomiya-kun is looking out for him, ne?” She winked. Nino hoped his smile didn’t look too much like a grimace. “So,” She said, turning back to the clothes rack and pulling out a blue and gray sweater. “How do you think _this_ would look on Satoshi?...”

Nino smiled, of _course_ she was shopping for Ohno. He really wasn’t surprised. “You’re still buying his clothes for him?” He asked anyway, his amusement making it apparent that the remark was meant to tease.

“You know my son about as well as I do. He’s hopeless without somebody around to take care of him.” She sighed with fond exasperation. “I’m glad he can count on you, Ninomiya-kun.”

“…Huh? Me?”

“I can look out for him at home, you know. But there are some things even _Satoshi_ doesn’t want to share with his mother. You’ve been very good to my son all these years… I don’t think I’ve ever brought it up before, but I’m very thankful to you Ninomiya-kun.”

“O-oh… that’s-… You don’t have to thank me, _really…_ ”

“Oh, look at us getting all sappy in the menswear section!” She laughed, holding the sweater up to Nino’s front and squinting at it. “You two are about the same size… Looks like a good fit, right? I’m just not sure about the color… Do you think it suits him?”

Nino studied the sweater slowly. It looked like it would be loose -but fitted, not baggy. The V-neck wasn’t too low, but would be just enough to expose some of his collarbones, and the fine woolen material was thick and sturdy but looked like it was probably soft and really comfortable. Without realizing what he was doing, Nino reached out and fingered the sleeve to see if his suspicions were correct. He concluded that they were, and he imagined Ohno -with his lean, dancer’s body- would probably look amazing in it, in a stylishly casual way.

“…Definitely.” He answered, dropping his hand back to his side. “It’ll look great on him.”

Ohno’s mother smiled warmly at him, draping the sweater over her arm with the other couple of things she was planning to purchase. Nino shifted uneasily, unable to help feeling that there was _something_ sly and knowing about her expression. He couldn’t shake the feeling the whole trip home, and it actually took him _three tries_ to beat the first level of his game, which was unheard of!

Things were not going well for him lately, and he was afraid to see what would happen next.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Seagulls shriek, gliding above in a sky that is deep blue and dotted with puffy white clouds here and there. The water is fairly calm, disturbed only by small, gentle waves that lap against the shore and the wooden docks. Nobuto walks along the aged boardwalk, peering out at the few fishing boats bobbing along in the distance, surrounded by the sparkling of sunshine reflecting on the water. He sighs deeply, looking solemn as he continues on slowly. At length something catches his eye and he pauses, frowning curiously into the small red boat docked to the right of where he’s come to stand._

Shunsuke is lying on his back on the floor inside the small vessel, staring through dreamy, half-lidded eyes at the sky high above. He doesn’t move at all, and Nobuto frowns in concern.

“Excuse me…” Nobuto says hesitantly. “Are you okay?”

Shunsuke’s gaze moves to him slowly, blinking in surprise to find someone watching him. He smiles sheepishly, sits up and nods. “Yeah, I was just thinking.” He laughs quietly, runs a hand through his messy hair, and then begins to study Nobuto curiously. “…You’re not from here.” Is his observation.

“No, I’m new to the area.”

Shunsuke smiles brightly. “Well, I’m Yamamoto Shunsuke. Nice to meet you.” He greets with a friendly bow to accompany his introduction.

Nobuto pauses, eventually letting the corners of his mouth lift with a faint smile. “Fujiwara Nobuto.” He introduces himself with a bow and then hesitates for a brief second before straightening up and letting the smile return again. “Pleased to meet you too.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“CUT!” Kato-san yelled, looking pleased as the cameras stopped rolling and his actors relaxed. The director went to re-watch the footage on the monitor while Nino and Ohno lounged around awkwardly on the docks, waiting for further instruction that didn’t come for a few more minutes. “Perfect, guys!” The director called finally. “I think we’re done for today.”

There was a chorus of everybody congratulating everybody else on a job well done. The crew then began packing up all of their equipment and the actors moved over to grab refreshments or to change out of their costumes in the trailers.

Nino observed Ohno, standing at the drinks table in his ‘work clothes’ –a pair of dirty overalls and a button up shirt with the sleeves bunched up to the elbows—, from the corner of his eye and promptly hurried off to their trailer to change. Lately he hadn’t really been comfortable removing his clothing in front of the other man, as a result of recent events, and so had worked very hard to be sure that he never needed to change in front of him –either by waiting for Ohno to leave first or by rushing to be changed before he got there.

They hadn’t been alone with each other at all recently, both either busy with their own things or surrounded by the other Arashi members or staff. Nino wasn’t really trying to do that, it was just the way things worked out. There had been plenty of similar times in the past, and he had always missed hanging out with his best friend on such occasions. This time was actually no different, only Nino couldn’t help but feel weird about missing him.

Ohno knocked twice and walked in while Nino was finishing doing up his belt. “Hey.” He greeted with a light smile, pulling out his own clothes and beginning to slip out of his costume with the slowness that comes from being tired after a long, stressful, day.

Nino nodded to him in acknowledgment, turning his back on him while he pulled on his own t-shirt. He glanced in the mirror inconspicuously and was relieved to see that Ohno was paying him no attention. The older man looked deep in thought as he peeled the shirt away from his sweat damp skin and tossed it aside. The earlier afternoon had been grossly warm and humid, but a cool wind had come in off the water, and as the sun crept low towards the horizon, the temperature began to drop with it. Ohno stretched, skin stretching over his ribcage and tense muscles in his back bunching up and flattening out. Nino’s eyes followed the cat-like curve of his spine, and then darted away when he realized that Ohno had shoved the overalls off too and stood only in his dark briefs, fumbling around in search of his own jeans to wear home.

Nino stared adamantly at the floor in front of him, picking at his nails while he waited for some indication that Ohno was done changing. He nearly jumped out of his skin a minute later when a second pair of hands clasped over his, and he felt the warmth of another solid body pressed against his back. “…Oh-chan?”

“Mm…” Ohno hummed in reply, pressing his cheek against Nino’s shoulder blade and sighing. “I miss you.”

Nino looked down, comparing Ohno’s darker, more slender fingers to his own small and pale ones. “…Me too…” He said softly, honestly, though he felt guilty about it.

“…This is kind of weird isn’t it?”

Nino frowned, confused and worried. Had Ohno realized he was acting strangely? “…What is?”

“Acting these characters, for everyone to see…” Ohno elaborated. “It just seems kind of funny, and weird.”

“Oh… yeah, I guess.” He paused, and moved to turn around. “Oh-chan…?”

“Hm?” Ohno didn’t let go, just loosened his hold enough for Nino to face him and then cuddled in with his forehead resting on Nino’s shoulder.

“…Never mind.”

There was a long silence. With the setting sun darkening the trailer, lighting it with only an orangey pink glow coming in through the window behind them, and Ohno draped on him, arms wrapped around his waist and weight comfortably heavy and warm, Nino could almost have fallen asleep. If he hadn’t been standing he probably would have. His eyes closed and he hugged Ohno back, they’d always fit well together -being nearly the same height and all-, and it was easier not to lose his balance if he was returning the gesture.

Ohno sighed, his breath hot on Nino’s neck. “I like watching you act.” He said quietly, voice barely higher than a murmur. “You’re really good.”

“So were you, Oh-chan.”

Ohno shifted slightly, looking up with a hopeful expression. “…Really?”

Nino frowned. “Of course.”

Ohno dropped his gaze again, biting his lip to hide a smile but failing to hide his blush. “…Thanks.” He said softly, and then placed an equally soft kiss on the pale skin of Nino’s throat, lips lingering there for a second -while Nino thought his heart was going to stop and explode out of his chest in a fit of panic- before pulling away again. Again they fell silent. Ohno’s fingers fiddled slowly and mindlessly with the back of Nino’s shirt, fingers ever so often brushing against the skin just above the waistband of his jeans. Nino squeezed his eyes shut a little tighter, trying not to twitch or shudder at the light touch. “Nino…” Ohno breathed after a while, fingers stilling with one of his hands now splayed against Nino’s skin at the small of his back. “… Are you busy tonight?”

Nino felt panic hit him square in the chest at the implications of such a question. “Uh-um… yeah, sorry. My… mother’s coming over for a bit, I think.”

“Oh…” Ohno sounded rather disappointed but he smiled, straightening up and letting his arms rest back at his sides as he took a step back. “Really? That’s nice.” And, despite having been turned down, he still seemed like he meant it.

“Yeah…” Nino said and then frowned suddenly, distracted from his guilt and an oncoming awkward atmosphere by what Ohno was wearing. It was pretty dark in the trailer at that point, but he recognized the new sweater with just a bit of squinting. He’d been right about it too, and couldn’t help feeling smug about that fact. “That sweater looks really good on you.”

Ohno glanced down at himself and then smiled brightly. “Thanks, it’s new!”

Nino smiled back, refraining from saying ‘I know, I helped pick it out’ because somehow that was just _way_ too weird, and because Ohno was already starting for the door. As much as Nino was enjoying the other man’s company (overlooking the occasional awkward ‘oh yeah, he thinks I’m his boyfriend’ moment), there was no need to prolong the conversation. They both had other places to be, sleep to catch up on, and, Nino reminded himself, his ‘mother’ was supposed to be expecting him.

 

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	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He did the things he did as a joke, and for years that was fine... but turning it into a prank changed everything entirely.

  
****

By the time Nino got back into Tokyo, he felt so guilty about lying that he actually changed his course and pulled up at his family home instead of his apartment complex. He rang the doorbell continuously as he stood on the darkened porch, and when his mother answered the door in her pajamas and a housecoat a few minutes later, she took in his helpless appearance and frowned in concern.

“Kazu?” She said, obviously surprised. “…What happened? Are you hurt?”

Nino shook his head. “…No, I just… I wanted to visit.” He shifted awkwardly on the welcome mat; made aware by his mother’s silently searching stare that she knew something was wrong. “…Can I come in?”

She paused and then nodded, standing aside and holding the door open for him as he entered and took off his shoes. “Are you hungry? Do you want something?” Nino shook his head, even though he hadn’t eaten anything since noon. “…Well, I was just flicking through the television, do you want to watch some with me?”

Nino nodded glumly, trailing after his mother into the familiarly cozy living room. He sat on the couch with a throw pillow hugged to his chest, changing channels rapidly as nothing in particular caught his interest. His mother came in from the kitchen a few minutes later, wordlessly handing him a mug of hot chocolate and sitting on the couch cushion beside him.

He drank the beverage quickly, fast enough that it burnt his tongue and his eyes watered. The heat and the rich flavor filled his stomach, warming his insides and fogging his tired brain with a sudden, desperate need for sleep. His eyelids drooped and his mother took the remote from him, turning down the volume on News Zero, of all programs, and setting it aside as she pulled her son to her. Nino closed his eyes, inhaling her nostalgically familiar scent and letting her fingers work soothingly through his hair as she turned her body a little more towards him and hugged him to her comfortably.

The low hum of Sho’s calming voice faded into the rhythmic thumping of his mother’s heartbeat accompanied by the gentle rise and fall of her chest with each breath. He felt like a child again, absorbing silent comfort and understanding from his parent, and he wondered vaguely why he didn’t come home more often. He almost felt like spilling all his troubles out in long, run-on, sentences, but he was too tired to open his mouth and was afraid he might cry if he tried to. Clinging tighter, he let himself go limp and heavy, curling closer to find as much warmth as possible as his thoughts drifted off into a comforting black nothing.

For the first time in many years, Nino fell asleep wrapped in his mother’s arms.  
  


 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  
_“Nobuto!” Yasuo hisses, pulling his younger brother into an empty room of the old house as soon as they next meet in the hall. He closes the sliding door firmly but quietly behind himself before turning to whisper in a tone that is angry with concern and shock and confusion. “What the hell were you doing?”_

_Nobuto is frowning. He has expected this, but it hurts to be questioned in such an accusing manner. He crosses his arms defensively. “Kissing, Aniki, but I think that was pretty obvious.”_

_Yasuo turns red, either flustered or angry but it’s hard to tell which. “… Who was he?”_

_“…Shunsuke.”_

_“Your friend?!” Yasuo is further shocked, not having recognized the other man before. “Are you crazy?! Who just goes around kissing their friends at random?!”_

_“He’s not just--… What I mean is we’re… kind of together.”_

_“Don’t mess around, Nobuto. This is serious!”_

_“I’m not messing around!” Nobuto raises his voice slightly, earning a warning glare from his brother._

_“What if it was grandfather that walked in on you instead of me? You’d be thrown out, or worse!”_

_“So what?! It’s not like I wanted to come stay in this old house anyw—“_

_“Even if you don’t care, what about Shunsuke-kun?!” Yasuo steps closer, towering over his younger brother and lowering his voice again for fear of being overheard. His tone is still severe and reprimanding. “This is his home. These people are his friends and neighbors. This is his_ life. _Don’t take all of that away from him on a selfish whim!”_

This hits Nobuto hard, who hasn’t even thought of it that way before. “I--…” He begins, looking stunned and torn by the realization.

“Seriously! I don’t care how much you miss your girlfriend, or if it was just a joke, you can’t always go around doing whatever you want! What were you thinking?!”

“I wasn’t thinking anything! I just—“ Nobuto trails off, looking down. “I--… I don’t know…”  
  


XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  
“Hey, nice work.” Oguri Shun grinned, thumping Nino genially on the shoulder as he passed on his way to where the caterers had set up outside. “You were really into that scene huh?” He laughed and Nino frowned in confusion, still partially lost in his thoughts. “It’s almost hard to keep up with you when you get that into character…” He chuckled again, striding off in search of something to munch on until he was needed for another scene.

Nino frowned after him. To be truthful, he hadn’t been very in character at all. That last particular scene, the confrontation between the two brothers, had instantly reminded him of his own situation. In the film Yasuo had the wrong idea, but what Nino was actually doing was totally unfair, he’d been an idiot and he was making a huge mess. Though if anything good had come out of the situation, he found he kept appreciating their friendship more and more, each time they met. He wished things could be less complicated, and he was tired of trying to put up two anguished romance acts at once.

“Excuse me,” he caught a staff member by the arm. “Do you know where Ohno-kun is?”

“Um… I think I saw him wandering down by the water.”

Nino thanked the woman, turning and jogging away from the set and down to the docks.

He had to fix this.

It only took him a minute to get there, he came round the bend in the trees, following the path down to the boardwalk and looking around wildly in search of his friend. Ohno was sitting at the end of one wharf, pants cuffed up to his knees and feet swinging back and forth along the top of the water. His back was to Nino and he was facing out to sea, presumably looking into the sunset. The sun was large and golden in the sky, and clearly on its descent. It left a wide shimmering path on the surface of the water, reflecting brightly off of the small waves stirred up by the breeze. Ohno’s shirt rippled in it, his brown hair blew gently around his head, and with the sun on him the way it was he seemed to be cast in a brilliant gold glow.

Nino froze on the spot, watching for perhaps an entire minute before he was able to blink and look away. Something about the scene made him not want to disturb it. He was suddenly struck by the thought that this must be what Nobuto saw in Shunsuke, that this scene alone would convey the complete rapture that Nobuto was supposed to feel in Shunsuke’s presence. He itched to step backwards, to turn and run for a camera crew before the moment was passed, but then thought better of it.

After all, he wasn’t Nobuto right? And he wasn’t looking at Shunsuke. He needed to separate himself from his character better before he really complicated things. It was just Ohno he was looking at; Nino didn’t need to feel Nobuto’s heart racing faster than normal whenever Ohno was near… he could already envision the confusion such feelings would result in.

He was here to _clear up_ all of the confusion, not make things worse with thoughts of tanned skin and golden sunsets by the sea…

So he approached Ohno slowly, staring at the back of his plaid shirt and reminding himself how he was supposed to feel whenever he looked at his friend. He forgot completely, however, when Ohno heard his footsteps behind him and turned around.

He looked momentarily surprised and then his expression broke into a pleased smile. “Nino.” He said simply, sliding over on the aged wooden boards and patting the spot beside him in invitation.

Nino stood for a long moment before shaking his head clear and sitting down gingerly, leaving several inches of space between them to be safe. He watched silently as Ohno leaned his weight back on his arms, tilting his head back with closed eyes and a content smile. The dying sunlight lit his features up magnificently and for an instant of what could have been momentary insanity, Nino wondered who was really shining brighter, the sun or Ohno…

Then, because several minutes of silence had passed, and Nino thought his brain was going to melt if he kept up his current internal struggle any longer, he spoke up quietly. “… What are you thinking about, Oh-chan?...”

Ohno’s smile widened and he shrugged. “Nothing in particular…”

Nino frowned. “How can you sit for so long and not be thinking anything…?”

Ohno opened his eyes then, squinting a little and tipping his head forward to look at Nino clearly. “I’m just happy.”

“…Oh.”

Another short silence fell between them and Ohno studied Nino contemplatively. Nino had to look away awkwardly, shifting uncomfortably under that stare that seemed to see right through his skin. “Did things go well with your mother?”

“Yeah, it was fine…”

“Oh, that’s good…” Ohno slipped his hand up into Nino’s lap to hold his hand and then was thoughtful again for a minute. “… Have you been looking at the scenes we’re supposed to do tomorrow?”

Nino glanced at him. It was a simple and common enough question, but Ohno had said it carefully, tentatively, and was watching him like he expected a particular reaction. “No… not yet.” He answered. “Why?”

Ohno raised his eyebrows for a brief second and then promptly looked away.

“Ohno, why?” Nino repeated, frowning now. He squeezed his hand a little tighter, leaning towards him as he searched for the answer. “What scenes are we doing?”

“Well… there’s scene 18…” Ohno said quietly, shooting a glance at Nino out of the corner of his eye. “You know…”

“Um…?” Nino shook his head slowly, frowning as he tried to recall what Ohno was talking about. He’d skimmed through the script before the audition and he looked over his lines each night for the following day but hadn’t bothered to do any studying of the scenes they had yet to touch… Frankly, he was afraid to. What he remembered about Nobuto and Shunsuke’s story was… well… he just wasn’t ready to look at any more of that territory than he had to.

Busy thinking about all the painfully romantic moments he could only vaguely recall, Nino could do nothing but freeze in shock when Ohno sighed and leaned in towards him, using his hold on Nino’s wrist to pull the younger man into a chaste kiss. Nino’s stomach jumped, and it took him a moment to remember to pull back after Ohno did. “The first kiss scene. The big one.”

Nino gulped. “…Seriously?”

Ohno nodded, turning back out to stare at the setting sun. Nino dropped his gaze in silent panic and dread, and focused on following the grain of the wooden planks with his eyes. Ohno was still holding his hand loosely, so he felt the movement more than saw it when Ohno finally turned to look at him a few minutes later.

“Nino…” He said quietly. The sun was almost set, painting everything in long shadows with splashes of light, and giving the distant horizon the appearance of being ablaze with orange fire. “Are you worried about it?”

“… Yeah, I guess…” Nino answered slowly. “I’ll have to look the scene over, I don’t remember it very well… Are _you_ worried?”

“I--…” Ohno’s hand held to his tighter as he faltered, turning his gaze to the side to watch the waves rather than Nino’s curious expression. “Well, it’s just that we’ve never even… kissed like _that_ before, and now we’re gonna do it on camera. It just seems weird, for a first like that to be in front of a crew, for everybody to see… I just feel weird about it.” He sighed, looking embarrassed. “I mean… what if we’re too awkward? What if we’re not any good yet?”

 _Yet._ Nino sighed. “It won’t be any less awkward than it would be with any other actor or actress. This isn’t any different; it’s a kiss between characters, not actors. Just make sure you keep that in mind and it’ll be okay…” Nino just wished he could follow his own advice. The more he heard about this kiss scene the more he dreaded going home to read it.

Ohno hesitated but then smiled gratefully and nodded his head. “Yeah… okay.” He still looked nervous though, staring down at their clasped hands. And though his head was bowed Nino could see him worrying his lower lip between his teeth. Finally, he glanced up and then inched closer, closing the gap between their sitting positions so they were seated thigh-to-thigh.

“Oh-chan, what--?”

“I know you’re right Nino,” Ohno cut him off, releasing his hold on his hand to cup Nino’s cheek in his palm and lift himself up a bit with a grip on Nino’s shoulder. “But, a little practice couldn’t hurt… right?” He grinned mischievously, promptly pushing Nino onto his back and leaning down over him.

Nino panicked.

“W-wait! Stop!” He spluttered, flailing a little to get his arms to work properly and push back on Ohno’s chest.

Ohno frowned dejectedly, clearly confused and probably more than a little frustrated. “Nino—“ he began, but broke off abruptly as someone cleared their throat loudly from the boardwalk several feet behind them.

“Um, excuse me… Ninomiya-san?!” They called, sounding flustered and awkward about interrupting them.

Ohno rolled off of him immediately, cheeks flushed and eyes wide. Nino sat up just as quickly, thanking the heavens for saving him an explanation for his miniature fit and straightening out his clothes before clambering to his feet. “Yeah, that’s me!” He called back to the poor crewmember.

“Kato-san wants one last take of you and Oguri-san in the hallway…”

“Oh, okay. I’m coming right away.” Nino answered dutifully. He glanced down at Ohno, who was still sitting beside him.

The older man was clearly trying to hold back an amused and embarrassed smile. ‘Sorry’ he mouthed, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

Nino couldn’t help returning the smile. He shook his head at the apology and then started off down the wharf. “Don’t worry about it… Go home and get some sleep, okay? I’ll see you tomorrow.” He was really dreading it, but Ohno smiled brightly and nodded at him, eager and red-cheeked and trusting, and Nino all but _sprinted_ back to the set to give his heart an excuse to be thumping as rapidly as it was.

 

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	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He did the things he did as a joke, and for years that was fine... but turning it into a prank changed everything entirely.

  
****

_“I had a water bottle here somewhere…” Shunsuke trails off and the two of them begin bending over to look under the bench and on the floor around them in the small rowboat. “That’s strange… I’m sure I—“ Shunsuke straightens back up and freezes, words stolen from his mouth as he comes face to face with an equally surprised Nobuto._

For a long tense moment they stare at each other, but when Shunsuke makes to turn away, Nobuto grabs his hand to keep him in place. Another tense moment, and as the small space between them disappears they regard each other through lowered lashes. Finally, Nobuto kisses him gently, barely pressing their lips together. It only lasts a brief moment and then he pauses, breath trembling before he makes to pull back a couple of inches.

Before he can get too far, Shunsuke raises his gaze and reaches out suddenly, grabbing Nobuto by his vest and pulling him in close to crash their lips together. Nobuto returns the kiss with equal passion. He quickly dominates it, holding Shunsuke tight to him with one hand while the other—

   
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  
Nino flipped the script shut abruptly, tossing it to the other end of the couch and nearly knocking Sho’s coffee out of his hand in the process.

“Jesus, Nino!” The newscaster blurt in alarm, holding the sloshing mug away from his lap lest the hot beverage spill on anything important. “Watch it!”

“Yeah… whatever…” Nino grumbled, sinking into a little ball as if he wanted the couch cushions to swallow him whole.

Sho couldn’t help but notice that accompanying his dark expression was a definite red flush to his cheeks. He set his coffee aside, picking the script up curiously and opening to the dog-eared page his friend had been reading. He read the first half of the page and raised his eyebrows. He’d certainly have to report to Aiba on _this_. “You’re doing this scene today?” He asked, trying to keep his voice even and fight down a grin.

Nino looked over to see what he was talking about and immediately looked somewhere between alarmed and annoyed. “Don’t look at my stuff!” He exclaimed, rolling to the side so he could snatch the thick manuscript from Sho’s hands.

“Whatever, you _threw_ it at me, remember?”

“Shut up, Sakurai.”

“Nino…” Sho said patiently, sliding down the couch to sit beside him. “You’re upset and you’re taking it out on me.”

“You read it, didn’t you?” Nino growled, wishing he were strong enough to rip the script right down the center, though he also knew that was a terrible idea. “Yes we’re doing it today. I’m heading out there right after this performance. Of _course_ I’m upset!”

“But why? Nino, you and Ohno have been ‘dating’ for almost a month now, you know… Haven’t you at least _kissed_ yet?”

Nino glared daggers at him. “No! ...Well, he’s kissed _me_ a couple of times but… I have to initiate this one, you know?! And this isn’t just a _little_ one! Everybody’s going to be watching too, I just— _Ugh_ _!”_ He exclaimed in frustration, running his hands through and tugging almost violently on his hair. “I thought you were on my side here! You know, we’re both supposed to be on the whole ‘this is a bad idea and I should try to undo it’ wagon!”

“…I _am_.”

“Then why does it feel like you’re getting a big kick out of the whole situation!?”

Sho schooled his expression into one of a seriously concerned advice-giver. When he thought about it, he still doubted whether or not Aiba’s plan would really work… but if it _was_ going to, then things certainly seemed to be moving in the right direction. Aiba was going to have a field day when he heard about all of this. “Look, Nino… It’s just a movie.”

“But—“

“You’re a professional, right? Just take a breather for a minute and remind yourself that you are an actor. No matter what is going on in your personal life, work is still work. You can do this.”

“No, I _can’t._ ” Nino groaned, pressing his palms into his eyes. “I feel like I’m going crazy here!”

“How so?...”

“It’s all too confusing, I don’t even know…” He sighed heavily. “It’s like… no matter what I do I can’t be professional about this at _all_. I suck!”

“Is it that hard to pretend you have feelings for him?” Sho frowned… maybe this had been a bad idea after all.

“…No.” Nino croaked after a brief pause. “Argh! I couldn’t even sleep last night… It’s like I slip out of character and feel awkward and guilty when I _should_ be acting, and then when I’m supposed to be myself I just can’t shake the _character_ _!_ …I feel like I’m losing my mind, Sho…”

“You can’t shake the character around Ohno.” Sho stated quietly, and Nino didn’t correct him. With a small, smug smile that he _hoped_ he’d disguised as sympathetic, Sho placed an arm around Nino’s thin shoulders and pulled him up against his side. “Which is it, the character or the character’s _feelings?_ ” He ventured gently, deciding that now was the best time to push the plan forward. Nino was actually being open and vulnerable rather than prickly and unheeding of nudges in the right direction… or at least nudges in the direction that Aiba had decided on and Sho had agreed to assist with.

“…What?” Nino said. Sho could hear the frown in his voice though the younger man’s face was buried in the arms he’d folded on his knees.

“When you say you can’t get out of character, is that because you keep accidentally referring to yourself and Ohno by your character names, or because you’re confusing the character’s emotions with your own?”

Nino was tense and silent for a long moment, presumably thinking. “I… I dunno… The second one… I guess…” He mumbled. Sho grinned victoriously.

At that point Jun walked into the room, removed his sunglasses, and frowned at the pair cuddled together on the couch. “… What are you two up to?” He said suspiciously, eyeing the way Nino was tucked into the crook of Sho’s arm.

“Nothing.” Sho answered.

Jun’s frown deepened and he set his bag aside on the table by the door. “Yeah, _right._ ”

“It’s true. Nothing is up at all.”

“Then stop grinning at me like a maniac.”

Nino raised his head, narrowing his eyes at the newscaster who quickly attempted to make his mouth a straight line. “…Sho?” He said slowly, confusion and suspicion evident in his tone.

“Sho!” Aiba leapt into the room, twirling so that his bright yellow scarf spun around him. “Like my outfit?! It’s really colorful this time, huh? I was getting sick of all the monochrome they’ve had us in lately…” He paused, turning his bright smile on the other occupants of the room. “Oh, hey MatsuJun, Nino.” He nodded at them and then winked in Nino’s direction. “Leader’s gonna be here any minute now. You all should see his outfit. It’s _super_ hot.” He laughed loudly. “The-- uh, _fangirls_ are gonna go crazy when they see him in this performance!” Another wink.

Nino groaned, flopping into the space Sho vacated upon standing up, and promptly curling into the fetal position.

“Aiba,” Sho grinned, ignoring Nino’s dramatic behavior in favor of hurrying across the room. “Walk with me to wardrobe?”

“But I’m already dressed…”

“We need to talk.” Sho said with an air of mystery, and Aiba’s expression morphed into one of comical surprise and excitement. He gestured wildly and silently between Sho, the couch, and the hall before grabbing the newscaster by the sleeve and bounding out of the room with him.

Nino fumbled around in his sweater pocket, pulling out his iPod and sticking his headphones in. He paused and then turned his eyes to Jun with an expression of startling exhaustion and despair. “If Ohno asks, I’m asleep.” He said glumly, turning up the volume of whatever he was listening to so that Jun could hear the buzz from across the room, and then covering his face with an old throw pillow.

Jun frowned, more confused than _usual_ by his group members’ behavior. “Just what the hell is going on?” He asked nobody in particular.

“I don’t know…” Ohno said, waddling into the room and pulling at the tight black jeans he was wearing. He also had on a slim, low-cut red t-shirt and a sequined black vest. “I can’t even _remember_ the last time wardrobe listened to Aiba’s suggestions…” He sighed, clearly annoyed by the outfit as he tugged the pants a little lower on his hips. “These won’t stop riding up…”

Not the answer Jun had wanted, but it served to make him even _more_ suspicious. Something strange was going on, and he did not like being left out of the loop at all…

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  
Nino and Ohno were carted out to the countryside by van as soon as the Music Station performance was done being filmed. It was a two-hour ride, and they sat in tense silence the entire time. That day’s shoot was going to be shorter than the previous ones —because they were only needed for a few scenes they were being given the morning and the latter part of the evening off—, but that was hardly consolation. Scene 18 was looming in the far too near future, and Nino wasn’t the only one absorbed in reading over his lines and trying not to hyperventilate.

About an hour into the drive, as they were leaving the fringes of the city, Ohno reached blindly for his hand, giving the younger man a reassuring squeeze and stroking his knuckles affectionately with his thumb. Nino glanced up, finding Ohno looked just as nervous as he felt, and was unbelievably grateful for that fact and his presence. No matter what, he told himself, Ohno was his best friend. He’d always been there for him, and Nino wasn’t sure that he’d ever been as grateful to have the other man around as he was just then. He squeezed back, twining their fingers together comfortably and not letting go until they arrived.

They did the other scenes first; a confrontation scene between Yasuo and the grandfather -where all Nino had to do was sit in the background and look concerned for his brother-, and the scene where the Fujiwara brothers first got off the bus and walked through the town in search of their grandparent’s home. After that they took a break while the caterers brought out food and the extras and anybody else who was done for the day got ready to leave.

All that was left was scene 18.

Nino wandered aimlessly through the crowd gathered by the food, running lines in his head. He resisted the urge to rub his eyes as makeup had _just_ finished reapplying foundation on his dark circles. He was exhausted, totally drained. Reading the day’s scenes over before bed the night before had been a bad idea, and he’d spent the entire night tossing and turning and imagining things he shouldn’t have been instead of simply staring at the ceiling.

“Nino, you should eat something.” Ohno said to him as he approached, chewing noisily on a baby carrot and reaching for a small handful of celery. Nino smiled, knowing that when Ohno was really worried about something he sometimes turned into a nervous eater. “You skipped lunch.”

And breakfast, and supper the night before… but Nino didn’t tell him that. “I haven’t got any appetite, actually.” He said instead, which was true. His stomach was so jumpy with nerves he doubted he’d be able to keep anything down.

“But still…” Ohno said worriedly, popping a celery stick into his mouth.

“Looks like everybody’s clearing out.” Oguri Shun said, wandering by in casual clothes with a muffin in his hand and his bag slung over his shoulder. “You can probably head down to the docks if you’re ready. Kato-san’s already there.”

“Oh… okay…” Nino said slowly, stomach turning at the thought.

Oguri laughed, clapping him on the shoulder with his free hand. “Hey, you guys will be great. Don’t let the roles beat you, ‘k?” He chuckled again, waving and strolling off to walk with a few other cast members to where the cars were parked.

Nino heaved a sigh. He did have his image as a confident and capable actor to uphold, regardless of his personal issues or nervousness. Oguri was right, he had to get past it and do a good job, for the fans, the cast and crew, for Ohno, and for himself as well… “Well,” he said taking a deep breath and putting on a brave face. “Shall we go?”

Ohno nodded, sighing and shoving another celery stick in his mouth before following Nino to the dirt path that wove through the trees.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  
It would have been bad enough if they _hadn’t_ had to shoot the damn scene in a boat. Luckily, the scene took place in a little cove that was sheltered from view and separated by a wall of greenery from the open ocean, meaning the water was calm and seasickness did not contribute much to the nausea Nino was already experiencing. They sat tensely, side by side on the seat in the little wooden rowboat. Two inflatable rafts followed them, carrying the director and a couple cameramen who were planning to follow and film the duo as they rowed out into the water. They also had a jib and two monitors set up on the shore for capturing sweeping aerial shots.

“All right!” Kato-san called into his microphone. “Scene 18, action!”

Ripples spread out in their wake as they paddled slowly, gliding gently out across the blue surface of the water. It was getting on into early evening and the trees were blocking some of the sinking sunlight, stretching leafy shadows across the water and making the lighting dim.

“It’s quiet here.” Nino said as they neared the center, laying their paddles gently on the floor of the small boat and letting their momentum carry them to a gradual stop.

“People don’t usually come back this way… it’s a good place to think.”

Nino smiled and looked around. “It’s pretty…”

Ohno smiled back. He then pulled a small chip bag from the rucksack on the floor, opened it, and popped one in his mouth. He munched on it while looking around thoughtfully and then offered one to Nino. “They’re good, jalapeno flavor.”

Nino eyed the bag for a second before taking one. He put it in his mouth and chewed twice before screwing his face up and coughing violently into his hand. “Ah,” He exclaimed hoarsely. “Spicy…”

Ohno went wide-eyed, looking alarmed and concerned as he hurriedly put the bag away. “That bad?! Are you okay? Hold on a second…” He looked around.

“I’m fine… really…” Nino protested, blinking watery eyes and clearing his throat.

“I had a water bottle here somewhere…” Ohno trailed off, and Nino thought it felt a bit like getting ready to jump off a bridge as he bent over to help Ohno look. “That’s strange…” The older man said, and Nino braced himself to sit back up at the cue. “I’m sure I—“

It worked well, exactly like in the script. Nino straightened first and when Ohno did the same they found themselves face-to-face, only inches apart from one another. They had to stare at each other, surprised by the closeness, and Nino found it wasn’t hard to do. Ohno’s lips were parted and his eyes were somewhat wide, the sunlight passing through the treetops dappled his skin and lit up golden highlights in his deep brown irises. When Ohno made to turn away, it was almost instinct more than conscious knowledge of what the script required that made Nino grab his wrist and tug him back. Nino gulped, blinking back his nerves and leaning in slowly, closing the gap between their lips over the span of what could have been hours, or just a couple seconds.

Somehow, this kiss was very, _very_ , different.

Perhaps because he was putting his guilt behind him, perhaps because he had decided to let Nobuto’s feelings guide him instead of his own concerns, perhaps because he was the one knowingly initiating the contact rather than always being caught off guard…

Nino’s lips dragged across Ohno’s, pushing gently as though to part them and then pulling back. For a moment he just breathed, still so close he could almost feel the energy radiating from Ohno’s skin along with the warmth of his breath. Their eyes met for an instant, and Nino almost gasped at the intensity of Ohno’s gaze and the jolt that passed through him before remembering he was supposed to move away.

As planned, Ohno stopped him. His hands darted out, bunching white knuckled in Nino’s clothing and pulling with more force than really necessary to bring their lips together again. It almost hurt, and Nino would have thought about potential bruises the following day if the thoughts hadn’t all been stolen from his mind along with the breath from his lungs. It felt like when he’d accidentally stuck his finger in an electrical socket at the age of seven, an electric shock that spread from his lips to every part of his body but lingered and sizzled. The feeling swelled in his stomach; fluttering up into his throat like a thousand butterflies and making his head spin. He didn’t need to remind himself to pull Ohno closer, to lean into the kiss and take control, to tangle his fingers in Ohno’s hair and tilt his head to a more comfortable angle.

Ohno was clinging to him, pressed to him like he couldn’t be separated if he tried, and Nino could feel him trembling. He was warm, and he tasted like that potato chip, laced with the sharp bitterness of the celery and a hint of the mouthwash he’d used _before_ eating for some reason. Yet the strangeness of the flavor wasn’t bad, somehow it suited his Oh-chan, and somehow that made it perfect. Nino felt like he had to savor as much of the taste as he could before it faded, like the flavor was something that needed, no matter what, to be committed to memory.

It was Ohno who remembered the next step, who thought to gently push him into backing off. He smiled breathlessly, looking a little lost and pleasantly surprised as he stroked the side of Nino’s jaw and leaned their foreheads together. Nino’s gaze dropped, a deep frown forming on his features as he contemplated what had just happened.

“Hey…” Ohno said quietly, looking a little confused and uncertain, but still mostly pleased. “…What—… what was that?...”

A pause, Nino looked up with wide, dazed eyes. “… I… might be in love with you…”

“…And… CUT!” Kato-san yelled, startling Nino back to reality. “Great guys, I think we actually got it all in one take!” The director beamed, looking exceptionally pleased as he turned to the other crewmembers in his raft to discuss the successful capture of the scene.

“Good…” Ohno sighed, slouching with relief. “I was worried they’d have us do it again… that would have been _seriously_ embarrassing.” He laughed, Nino barely heard him.

He couldn’t help feeling more than a little stunned. There were just too many thoughts whizzing about his head, too many questions and potential answers and overwhelming feelings. Somehow… somehow he’d lost track of the cameras… he’d lost track of the _script_ … and yet he’d still somehow managed to complete the scene perfectly. The lines between reality and fiction were all blurred, and he had no idea what to think of that. All he knew was that he’d never gotten so lost in a kiss before, and he’d never, _ever_ , imagined that the first time he _did_ feel ‘sparks’ and see ‘fireworks’ during a kiss would be all an act… Or was it?

The idea that perhaps he’d stopped acting there _entirely_ –that he had _wanted_ to kiss Ohno, and that he hadn’t wanted to _stop_ — was just too much to handle. He suddenly felt like throwing up, or screaming, or running until his lungs burned and his feet bled and his sides ached.

“All right, we’re done! Let’s pack it up and go home!” Kato-san called cheerily.

In his dazed, bewildered, and panicked state, Nino heard the director give them permission to leave but neglected to recall that they were still in the rowboat, sitting in the middle of the little cove. He stood up far too quickly, with every intention of making a run for it, and his head spun dangerously. Lack of sleep and his negligence when it came to food suddenly caught up with him in a rush of dizziness and nausea. His vision wobbled and narrowed into dark tunnels and the boat rocked under his weight as he stumbled to get his bearings. He heard Ohno cry out in alarm, like a distant echo underwater, and the last thing he saw was a rippled reflection of the sky rushing up to meet him.

Even before he’d hit and sunk beneath the surface, everything had gone black.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He did the things he did as a joke, and for years that was fine... but turning it into a prank changed everything entirely.

 

When Nino cracked his eyes open he saw nothing but white. After a moment of staring he recalled that he had passed out, and then he recalled the events leading up to where he was now. Specifically, falling out of the boat. His eyes shot open and he lifted his head to look around, feeling very relieved to find that he had been staring at the ceiling in Ohno’s bedroom and was not, in fact, dead. He heaved a relieved sigh; letting his head fall back on the pillow and silently thanking his lucky stars.

At that moment there was a light thump from the doorway. Nino turned his head to see Ohno standing there in apparent shock as he’d dropped the cool compress he was carrying. After an instant he seemed to spring back to motion, almost throwing himself to his knees at the bedside and looking Nino over with a wide grin of relief. He was almost beside himself. “Oh thank god you’re awake!” He exclaimed as Nino lifted himself into a sitting position. “I was so worried! They had to give you CPR and the paramedic _said_ you’d be fine once you got some rest but I still thought—“ He broke off, pulling Nino into a hug and burying his face in his shoulder with a soft and giddy laugh. “I’m so glad you’re alive…” He breathed.

Nino felt tears spring to his eyes. He didn’t deserve this sort of care; Ohno deserved someone _so_ much better, somebody who wouldn’t hurt him like Nino had. Because whether Ohno knew it yet or not, the damage had already been done. Whether Nino was living or dead, his Oh-chan was inevitably going to suffer… it just wasn’t fair. Nino choked, trying to hold back a sob by biting down on his lip. He’d never intended for this to go and get as complicated and confusing as it had. Now he didn’t even know what he wanted. He was afraid of losing Ohno when the truth came out, he wasn’t sure what would happen if he lost his friend for good… but Nino knew more than his own happiness or anything else that he didn’t want Ohno to be hurt. In a way he wished things could just continue the way they were, Nino could put up with confusion and his heart and body’s strange reactions to things as long as Ohno was still by his side and smiling.

Ohno made to pull away but Nino quickly wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close to his body and holding him tight as though he was truly terrified to let go… and maybe he _was_. “I’m sorry…” He whispered, unable to keep a few tears from leaking down his cheeks but glad that Ohno couldn’t see them.

“It was an accident.” Ohno replied, gladly hugging him back and pulling himself up onto the bed so they fit easier and more closely together. “It’s okay.”

Nino held tighter, sinking back against the mattress and pulling Ohno down with him. He turned his head, almost burrowing into the crook of Ohno’s neck and deeply inhaling the scent of his hair and his skin. He didn’t care if things had already gotten bad and this was making it a little bit worse, he just wanted one last night to remember if after tomorrow Ohno wanted nothing to do with him ever again. After tomorrow…

Tomorrow he would tell him.

“Don’t leave me, Oh-chan…” He breathed, closing his eyes and concentrating on the rhythm of Ohno’s heartbeat he could feel faintly through their clothes. “No matter what happens, don’t leave me…”

“Never.” Ohno answered surely, turning slightly to kiss his cheek fondly before cuddling in again.

_Just an accident…_

But not all accidents were forgivable…  
  


XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  
When Nino awoke next it was dark. Somebody had turned off the light and closed the door, and since Ohno was still curled loosely in his arms, Nino suspected one of Ohno’s parents was behind the gesture. As embarrassing as that should have been, he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Ohno shifted in his sleep as Nino’s hold on him relaxed and he slid so he was snuggled up against Nino’s side, rather than sprawled across him. He pillowed his head on Nino’s shoulder, fingers splayed across his chest and lips parted slightly as he breathed deeply and evenly.

Nino sighed softly, reaching out run his fingers through Ohno’s hair and brush lightly over his round cheeks, his full bottom lip, and the curve of his jaw. He felt like his heart was breaking. The absolute trust and _love_ that Ohno had given him… he was about to throw it all away. Somehow, watching Ohno sleep so peacefully suddenly became too painful to do. His throat hurt and his chest ached and his eyes stung, so he extricated himself from Ohno carefully, pulling the covers up to his chin and watching the older man curl up comfortably in the warm space he’d vacated.

“…Goodbye.” He whispered, afraid this might be his only chance to say it. In less than twenty-four hours he was going to lay everything out in the open, and hope selfishly that Ohno might learn not to hate him for it someday.

The floorboards creaked and the clock in the hall ticked quietly as Nino approached the stairs, padding carefully along in bare feet. Somebody had changed him out of his presumably soaking wet costume and into his own clothes, and he could probably guess who. Where normally he would have been horrified and embarrassed, now the kind gesture made him look back at the closed door to Ohno’s bedroom fondly. He recalled the sleepovers he’d spent there since the time when he was still a kid, some of the best nights he’d shared with his best friend. He still remembered them clearly, and he wondered if this night would be the clearest of all.

He took the stairs slowly, not wanting to wake anybody, and was fumbling around by the door in search of his shoes when he heard footsteps coming down the hall from behind him.

“Ninomiya-kun.” Nino started and turned to see Ohno Satoshi’s mother watching him with crossed arms and an unreadable expression.

“…Ohno Kaa-san?” He asked slowly. “It’s almost four in the morning… you’re still awake?”

She approached him, taking his arm and guiding him gently but firmly towards the kitchen. “I _thought_ you might try to run for it.” Was her response. “You must be hungry. Come eat first, Ninomiya-kun… I think we need to have a talk.”

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  
Aiba giggled, spilling some of the alcohol he was trying to pour into Jun’s glass but hardly caring. The others laughed with him, Jun accepting the glass and Sho leaning over to half-heartedly swipe at the mess on the coffee table with the damp dishtowel he was holding. The three of them were sitting on the floor in Aiba’s living room, turning what had initially been a mature conversation over drinks into an all-out attempt to empty the liquor cabinet.

“Ahhh…” Jun sighed, leaning back against the front of the couch and swallowing a large mouthful of the amber liquid in his glass. “I’m gonna be fried tomorrow…” He glanced at his watch. “…I mean, _today_.” Aiba laughed again, and Sho leaned back, missed the couch, and then didn’t even bother _trying_ to get up from the floor. “Tell me again why I agreed to do this?” The youngest slurred.

“Because you loooove us?” Aiba grinned, pouring himself another drink. Jun chuckled deeply and Sho hummed his agreement, dragging himself over with great effort so that he could rest his head in Aiba’s lap. “And we’re celebrating the success of our single! Cheers to being number one!” He raised his glass, sloshing some of its contents over the side and down his hand.

Jun snorted, raising his glass just to humor him. “There’s only sree—srhe--…” he blinked, trying to clear his head along with his throat. “...Only _three_ of us, though.”

Aiba stopped licking the liquid off of his hand to smile deviously, waggling his eyebrows and leaning heavily on Jun’s side. “Well, that’s because Ohno and Nino are _busy_ …”

“Oh... filming?”

Aiba giggled nasally, scrunching up his nose. “I dunno… but that’d be pretty kinky!”

Jun frowned in drunken confusion, struggling to comprehend all the innuendos, while Sho went red-faced and burst into obnoxiously loud laughter. He rolled, almost muffling his noise into Aiba’s crotch before realizing what he was facing and rolling back over to bite down on his hand instead.

“What? _Kinky?_ ” Jun asked, poking Aiba to get his attention. “Weren’t they… doin’ that… you know, movie…?”

“Yeah, but Nino almost drowned…” Aiba trailed off, distracted by Sho reaching up to count the buttons on the animal-lover’s shirt.

“What?” Jun squawked, flailing a little to set his glass down without missing the table. _“WHAT?”_

“Shh~” Sho hushed, slurring as he tipped his head back to look at Jun. “You’ll wake Aiba-chan’s neighbors…”

Aiba pet Sho on the head appreciatively, almost getting him in the eye. “Don’ warry!” He exclaimed in random English. “Ohno-kun took him home to _t_ _ake care_ of him!” He giggled, covering his mouth with the hand still holding his near-empty glass. “ _You_ know!” Jun frowned at him. “You know what I mean!~”

Jun considered this, frown deepening in thought and confusion. “… Sex?” He asked dubiously.

“No, no! No nononono _noooo~_ ” Sho assured him, waving his hand around dangerously close to Aiba’s face while Aiba exclaimed at the same time: “I s-sure _HOPE_ so!”

Jun gaped, blinking twice as their reactions filtered through the alcohol induced haze on his brain. “You— wha—?... Are they…?” He paused, licking his lips. “ _Why?_ ”

Aiba leaned closer, attempting to whisper in his ear but being close enough that it was more of a sloppy, too-loud murmur against his earlobe. “Becaaause~, Sho-chan and I are matchmakers now.” He giggled, making Jun wince at the volume. “Nino lied to Ohno and now we’re trying to set them up!” He said proudly. “To fix things!” He finished with a hiccup.

Sho seemed to only just understand what Aiba was saying. He gasped, using Aiba’s shirt as leverage to pull himself up and stare at him with a wide-eyed, open-mouthed, scandalized expression. “Aiba!” He exclaimed, sounding horrified. “That’s a secret! You forgot the number one rule!”

Aiba gasped too, slapping a hand over his mouth. “Oh NO! ‘Don’t tell Jun’! I FORGOT!” He shouted in alarm.

“Now what do we do!? If JUN knows he’ll ruin EVERYTHING!! We’re screwed! It’s ruined! We’re done! I— We—“ Sho broke off, swaying from his position on his knees and going pale. “…I’m gonna be sick…” He moaned, despairing and nauseous. Aiba staggered to his feet immediately and helped drag Sho’s nearly useless pile of limbs to the bathroom just in time to avoid making a bigger mess of the living room.

Jun stayed behind, trying to block out Aiba’s shouts of ‘GROSS! WHAT DID YOU EAT?!’ by wandering into the kitchen and mulling over the information he’d accidentally been told. He wasn’t drunk _completely_ out of his mind, he knew something bad was going on involving Ohno and Nino, and clearly Aiba and Sho were playing some important role in the scheming surrounding it, but he also knew that he’d never remember the details of what he’d heard come morning.

“Sho-chaaaan~” Aiba was complaining in a loud whine. “Don’t fall asleep! You have to help me with this! Ew!... EW!”

Guessing the other two were sufficiently preoccupied, Jun dug through Aiba’s kitchen drawers, finding a worn-down pencil and ripping a sheet from the memo-pad on the fridge. His vision was blurry and his writing atrocious, slanting in all directions and barely readable, but he jotted down a reminder for the morning, crumpled the little paper up and stuffed it in his pocket.

“MATSUJUN!” Aiba hollered, and Jun was _sure_ they’d be hearing complaints from the apartment building’s other tenants. “HELP! SHO-CHAN IS HEAVY!”

“M’not faaat~…” Sho was complaining, being a mostly unconscious dead-weight in Aiba’s arms when Jun arrived upon the scene. He grabbed his legs while Aiba took his arms and they managed to get him tossed onto Aiba’s bed without dropping him even once, and they only hit him off of a _couple_ walls along the way.

“I’m tiiiiired, ne Jun-kun?” Aiba yawned, losing his balance and landing in a seated position at the foot of the bed before giving in and crawling up to flop beside Sho’s limp form. “C’mon… Sleepy time.” He chuckled while burrowing under the covers. He tucked Sho in beside him, leaving a place on his other side for Jun to fit in.

Jun hesitated before deciding that his brain was too tired of functioning and they looked far too comfy cuddled together like that for him to refuse the offer. “Good night.” He said, clinging to Aiba a little to avoid rolling off onto the floor.

“Sweet dreams you guys~!” Aiba garbled out through a yawn.

Long since passed out, Sho’s response was to murmur something unintelligible in his sleep and grind his teeth.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  
Ohno’s mother sat across from him, chin resting in her palm as she watched Nino eat the cereal she’d just poured for him. “So…” She began. “I hear you’re dating my son.”

Nino froze, staring into the milk in his bowl. “Did he tell you that?...”

“He told me that a while ago. Back when this all started.”

Nino couldn’t meet her gaze. She didn’t sound upset, but she didn’t sound happy either. Her tone was decidedly neutral, like she was being careful to conceal her emotions.

“… But it didn’t take me long to figure out that it wasn’t true.”

Nino looked up at that, alarmed. “W--… what?...”

“Satoshi doesn’t know, I wasn’t about to tell _him_ my suspicions, but I couldn’t not confront you about it either.”

“But— How?”

“I’m a mother, Ninomiya-kun. I’m _Satoshi’s_ mother, and you know he’s not the most verbal person around. He’s hard to figure out, but I’ve grown very good at understanding lots from even the subtlest of body language. You, Ninomiya-kun, are a lot easier to read than my son. Of _course_ I know what’s going on… or at least I’ve got the gist of it.” She paused, sighing gently. “Why are you lying to him?”

“I…” Nino lifted his hands, rubbing his eyes. “I didn’t know how he felt… I wasn’t serious… but he—“ He broke off, posture slumping terribly. “And then I was afraid of hurting him… But, don’t worry. I’m going to tell him today… later…”

“…Maybe you should wait. Why don’t you keep going the way you have been for a while, and see if you come up with a better idea?”

Nino gaped at her. “Because I— I don’t want to lead him on any more than I already have… Do you _want_ me to make things worse?”

“Of course not.”

“Then why aren’t you mad at me? Why aren’t you pushing me to end this?”

“Because Satoshi really does love you, Ninomiya-kun… And I think you care for _him_ more than you maybe realize.”

“…He’s my best friend…”

“And you’re his, that doesn’t mean there isn’t room for there to be more.”

“Please, stop.” He said quietly, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’m confused enough as it is… I can’t do this anymore. It’s not fair to either of us if I keep pretending.”

“I’m not asking you to live a lie for Satoshi’s sake… I just think you should consider your feelings for him first before you end this.”

“I told you, it was just a joke that got out of hand.” Nino said, thoughts of the kiss on the boat that past evening came back to him but he pushed them aside. “As far as feelings go, I consider him a friend… and nothing beyond that. That’s all there is.”

Ohno’s mother opened her mouth to say something else, but they both froze at the creak of a floorboard in the hall. For a second there was silence as whoever was present probably realized they’d been heard as well. Dread settling in his stomach like a rock, Nino got to his feet and hurriedly approached the hall. The lights were off, but it wasn’t hard to make out the figure leaning heavily against the wall next to the coat closet, just outside the entrance to the kitchen.

“…Oh-chan…” Nino breathed, insides twisting painfully. Ohno didn’t move, just stayed staring blankly at the wall opposite, jaw set. “Oh-chan, I—“ He reached out for him, fingers brushing his arm.

Only then did Ohno come to life, jerking away as though the contact had actually burned. “Don’t touch me.” He snapped quietly. The light from the kitchen landed on his face now, and Nino saw clearly as two large tears spilled over his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. Ohno’s lip trembled and he bit it to keep it under control.

“You heard…?” He didn’t need to ask any more than Ohno needed to answer. It was pretty obvious that he had. “Oh-chan, I’m… I’m sorry…”

Ohno looked away. “… Just go.”

“But—“

“ _Leave_. Now.”

“Oh-chan, wait! Just let me explain—“

“Please, Nino.” Ohno met his gaze again and his expression made Nino’s breath catch. He’d never seen anybody look so desperate, like he was about to fall apart at the seams. “ _Please_.” He repeated, voice cracking. “I— I don’t want to see you.”

Nino hesitated before swallowing the lump in his throat and nodding. He moved past him, finding his shoes quietly and slipping them on. Ohno kept his back to him until his mother entered, looking terribly concerned.

“Satoshi…” She said softly, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“… Just make sure he leaves.” He said quietly, shrugging her off and sprinting up the stairs.

His mother gave Nino a short look that was sympathetic even as it told him he should go, and then followed after her son.

Nino stared down at the floor before quickly looking over what he could see of the old familiar house. He wondered if this would be the last time he was ever there. Quickly, he tried to ingrain the images to memory while wishing he could _forget_ the broken look on Ohno’s face. As he stepped outside and the door shut behind him -closing him out of Ohno’s heart and maybe even his _life_ -, he had a feeling that he never would.

 

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	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He did the things he did as a joke, and for years that was fine... but turning it into a prank changed everything entirely.

Jun was the first one at the studio Monday morning. The day before, he’d woken tangled up in some sort of dog pile with Aiba and Sho, dreadfully hung-over and with little recollection of the events leading to where he then was. The rest of Sunday he’d spent downing Tylenols in his dark apartment, unable to brush off the feeling that he’d forgotten something important until he decided to put a wash on and emptied the pockets of his jeans.

The note had been in there, he could suddenly recall writing it, and the scrawled characters on its crumpled surface led his thoughts to the back of his mind, dragging out blurred memories along the way.

Something was apparently going on between Ohno and Nino, which involved the Sakuraiba duo, which usually meant big trouble. Jun _hated_ trouble. He much preferred everything to be in order, which he had to work very hard to maintain what with Aiba usually being in his general vicinity. One thing he hated _more_ than trouble, however, was mischief going on behind his back –another peeve of Jun’s that Aiba was generally the ringmaster of.

In any case, Jun did not plan to sit by and let whatever was happening continue to happen. He just _knew_ it was bound to end badly, and he and their manager and other staff members would be the ones who had to clean up. Sometimes, he felt like he was running an understaffed daycare… one where the most rambunctious of the children (Aiba) kept smuggling icing sugar in with him and distributing it to the other kids until they all went haywire and the place was a mess and the parents complained.

Jun could feel his blood pressure rising just thinking about it.

Fortunately, he was unable to truly drive himself mad as the door opened and Ohno walked in tiredly, dressed and styled and ready to go except for the almost drooping expression on his face.

“Leader,” He said, watching as Ohno jumped before taking note of who the other person in the room was.

“Oh, MatsuJun…”

“Can I talk to you for a second?” Ohno nodded, trailing over to sit beside Jun and hold his bag in his lap. “I was just wondering, because of something Sho and Aiba said…” Jun began slowly, wondering what was the best way to approach a subject he really knew nothing about. “What exactly is going on between you and Nino?”

Ohno stiffened as though he’d just been dipped in ice water. He looked at Jun with wide eyes for a second before looking away, and his knuckles turned white as his grip tightened on his bag. “… Nothing.” He said quietly, voice barely audible. “At all.”

Jun frowned at his reaction, clearly concerned now. “Really?” He asked, not believing him. “Because Aiba said something like you two—“ He broke off as Ohno’s gaze flickered to the closed door, raised voices in the hallway drifting to their ears.

 _“Nino, listen, we’re only trying to help!”_ Sho was trying to reason.

 _“Shut up Sakurai! I asked for your help and you came up with_ nothing _! Instead you go behind my back and make things worse!”_

_“It’s not Sho-chan’s fault, Nino, I convinced him to go along with my idea—“_

_“Don’t even get me_ started _on how mad I am with you!”_

 _“But Nino!”_ Aiba continued. _“I really think it_ is _working! I mean, think about Leader, and think about how that makes you feel—“_

_“Terrible! It makes me feel fucking terrible, you idiot! He hates me now!”_

_“What?”_ Aiba sounded confused.

 _“You mean he found out?!”_ Sho exclaimed, clearly beginning to panic at the thought.

 _“It was only a matter of time! I can’t believe you two were trying to set this up and make things worse, I would expect that kind of stupidity from Aiba but you should have known better Sho! Why would you ever listen to his ideas?! You were supposed to be_ helping _me, not helping the world’s biggest dumbass fuck my life over!”_

_“Hey, go ahead and be mad at us but that’s going too far. Aiba just wanted to help too, we didn’t mean for anything to go wrong.”_

“Leader…” Jun said softly, confused and concerned by what he was hearing. Ohno had his eyes squeezed shut, bag held tightly to his chest like he couldn’t bear to hear any more.

_“Nino is understandably angry, it’s okay Sho…”_

_“No! It’s_ not _o_ _kay! Frankly,_ you’re _the one who caused this whole mess in the first place Nino, so don’t start lashing out at Aiba. Ohno-kun would have found out whether_ we’d _done anything or not, and the only reason you’re upset with us is because Aiba’s plan was actually_ working _! Isn’t that right?!”_

_“What?!”_

_“Admit it! Your feelings are confused right?!”_

_“F—feelings?! You’re wrong!”_ Nino exclaimed. _“He was my friend and that was it, I’ve never felt anything more for him, okay?! So don’t go around making shit like that up!”_

Ohno got up; rushing to the door like he wanted to make a run for it, but Nino beat him to it, bursting in and stopping them both in their tracks just a few feet away from each other.

In the hall, Sho’s furious expression melted into one of shock as he saw Ohno through the doorway, looking crushed, and Aiba covered his mouth in horror.

“Oh-chan…” Nino said slowly, feeling like he was being deflated as all his anger and tension disappeared in favor of regret and shame.

“Nothing?”

“…What?” Nino questioned hoarsely, not sure he’d heard correctly.

Ohno met his gaze with watery eyes that burned with a surprising amount of anger. “You didn’t feel anything? Not even once?”

Nino almost choked. There _was_ that one time… on the rowboat… and at the docks… and when he woke up from being unconscious and— but no. Everybody was staring at him in silence, waiting for his answer. All of those times, they’d just been platonic, brotherly love, right? Saying they counted if that was the case would only be crueler to Ohno than everything else had been. No, those times meant nothing, even if he _was_ intending to cherish them. “…No.” He answered quietly, guiltily. “…I didn’t.”

“Then you lied. You’ve never been in love with me.” Ohno’s fists were clenched and his voice cracked as he took a step closer, though he was clearly trying to keep his composure.

Nino nodded slowly, wishing a hole would open up in the floor and swallow him. “…I’m sorry.” He said, lifting his head.

Ohno punched him, hard. The force was enough to send him to the floor, cradling his face in pain as blood dripped from his nose and stained his hands red. _Guilty_.

Ohno practically ran from the room, knuckles red and sore, and Jun followed close behind him. Aiba made to go after him too, but Sho caught his arm, keeping him at his side while he approached Nino, who had managed to sit up and was cursing nasally under his breath as he tried to stop the blood flow.

“Nino.” Sho said firmly but sympathetically, kneeling in front of him.

“Fuck off…” He mumbled, ducking his head in an attempt to hide the tears leaving streaks in the gory mess around his nose.

“No.” Sho said, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket and leaning forward to quickly wipe up what he could before pinching it around his nose. Nino winced in pain, biting hard on his lip to keep from yelping. “It might be broken…” Sho was frowning. He pulled his keys from his pocket and turned to toss them at Aiba, releasing the pressure on Nino’s nose in favor of just attempting to mop up as much of the blood as he could. ”Go bring my car around. We’ll have to take him to the hospital to get it looked at.”

Aiba nodded, looking faint and distraught at everything that had gone down, and more than glad for a distraction from the blood and the whole affair. He ran from the room as fast as he could, thinking to call their manager and tell him they’d have to cancel the interview while he was at it.

“Come on.” Sho said, standing and helping Nino to his feet. The younger man’s nose was already swelling, and he seemed a little lost and lightheaded as he let Sho support and guide him out of the room and down the hall. “…I’m sorry everything turned out this way.” The newscaster said gently, tightening his arm around Nino’s back as they climbed a short flight of stairs. “I’m sure Ohno will forgive you eventually… I’ll—… I’ll try to think of something to do about it, okay?”

Nino didn’t say anything.

   
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Ohno had told him everything from the other side of a bathroom stall door, and Jun couldn’t be more furious. Aiba and Sho were busy fending him and his anger away from Nino, who had effectively had his filming and most of Arashi’s upcoming activities postponed while he hid out in his apartment all day, nursing a broken nose and two black eyes. Jun had therefore taken it upon himself to look out for Ohno, who nobody seemed to realize was the real victim of the situation.

That wasn’t entirely true, he reasoned. Aiba and Sho had both gotten on their knees to apologize to their leader, who had assured them that he honestly harbored no hard feelings for the duo. What Jun couldn’t understand was that they were still trying to defend Nino, slipping in gentle remarks about how bad he felt and how he’d never meant to hurt anybody.

Jun was partially glad that they’d been so successful in keeping him away from the missing-in-action gamer. He honestly felt that if he _did_ happen to run into Nino any time soon, he’d end up giving him a nose that _no_ doctor would be able to straighten out… and maybe a broken rib to go with.

The whole situation was wearing away at him. At the rate things were deteriorating, he wondered sometimes in the middle of the night if things would ever go back to normal… and he doubted it.

That scared him. Arashi had always prided themselves on being a no-conflict group. They’d never had a real fight before so this was a first, and a _big_ one. He was having nightmares on a regular basis, dreaming of the group breaking up forever, and waking up trembling in a cold sweat while his cheeks were wet with hot, salty tears. He was very, _very_ , angry with Nino… but he didn’t hate him. During the day it was easy to feel that he did, that he wanted Nino to suffer for the idiotic things he’d done and the pain he’d caused them, but when he was alone at night –imagining that he was alone in the world—, he just wished that things could be mended, that things weren’t as hopeless as he feared…

It was probably his own troubles even more than his sympathy for Ohno’s that made him jump at the chance when Ohno complained about the constant pity and empathy for _Nino_ that he was getting from his mother at home.

“Nino, that bastard.” Jun growled, letting Ohno curl comfortably against him on the youngest member’s living room couch. “…Stay here with me, Leader. We can complain about him together.”

Ohno nodded gratefully as he closed his eyes, silently inviting Jun to take a much-needed nap with him. “…I don’t hate him, you know.” He said tiredly a moment later. “It’s just… thinking about him… it hurts.”

Jun sighed, leaning back and running his hands comfortingly through his leader’s hair. “…I know what you mean.” He whispered, not sure if Ohno had already drifted off or not, but glad to have his reassuring company when sleep finally claimed him as well.

   
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“Nino! I’m coming in, okay?!” Aiba yelled.

He’d spent an hour pounding on the door earlier before calling their manager and getting the emergency spare key from him. Nino had locked himself up for days, refusing to see anybody. Sho had taken it upon himself to pay for and order takeout to be delivered to his place, which -he’d confirmed with the restaurants-, had been accepted by the recovering musician. However, he hadn’t opened the door to anybody else, and Aiba was growing increasingly worried.

No response came to his declaration so he jammed the key in the lock, twisting the knob until it gave and he swung the door open. The lights inside were off, the curtains all drawn. Nervously, he fumbled for the light switch so that he could actually see where he was going and moved quickly but warily into the musty living space. The air felt stale so he opened a window, letting a breeze blow in and knock a stack of unread mail off of the kitchen counter and onto the floor. Aiba opened the fridge, frowning at several Styrofoam takeout containers with contents that were either barely touched or not at all. His frown deepened, worry increasing as he shut the door quickly and hurried through the other rooms.

He found Nino sprawled on his back on the living room floor, game controllers were strewn around him and the television screen flickered with the bright red words ‘GAME OVER’. Aiba dropped to his knees, panic taking over as he shook Nino’s limp arm. “Nino! Nino, wake up!”

Nino groaned irritably, attempting to roll over and cover his face but whimpering when he bumped his badly bruised nose in the process. “Aiba, what the—“ He struggled to sit up, squinting angrily at the light that now filled the room. “How the hell did you get in here…?”

Aiba sighed in momentary relief before Nino’s stomach rumbled and he really took in his appearance. Besides the dark bruising there were obvious dark circles under his eyes, his skin was paler than usual, and he’d obviously lost weight. Aiba thought back to all the uneaten food in the fridge and he narrowed his eyes angrily. Nino looked surprised by the rarely-seen expression. “You _idiot!”_ He smacked him on the arm. “What’s wrong with you?!”

“Wha—?” Nino gaped.

“I’m calling Sho.” Aiba announced, pulling out his cell phone and moving out of reach before Nino could snatch it from him.

“No! Aiba don’t!”

“Sho-chan,” Aiba said, pushing Nino back down on his ass with a foot to his chest and glaring at him from where he was standing. “Ninomiya-kun hasn’t been eating.” Nino groaned, hearing muffled enraged squawking noises from the other end of the line. “I know… I _know_. Yes, I already told him he was stupid.” Another pause, Sho was speaking low enough that Nino could only hear a faint buzzing from his position on the floor. Aiba was staring at him with a small, satisfied smirk, and Nino thought the expression couldn’t have been more intimidating on _anyone_ else. He had to look away. “You’re done? Oh, good. I’ll see you in an hour then.” He flipped his phone shut with a snap and slipped it into his pocket before bending down and hauling Nino easily to his feet. “Sho’s coming over.” He stopped and frowned, staring at a dried bloodstain on the front of Nino’s shirt.

“…What?”

“You’ve been wearing that shirt since Monday, haven’t you?!”

“…No.”

“Nino, _gross!_ That was three days ago!”

“So?! That’s not so bad!”

“There’s _blood_ on it! Ew!” He turned, dragging his injured friend in the direction of the bathroom instead of the kitchen.

“Wait! I thought you were concerned about _feeding_ me!” Nino protested more to annoy him than anything, not putting up much of a struggle as Aiba tugged him along. “You don’t care if I starve?”

“Sho-chan can deal with picking through those leftovers for something still edible, but I’m not letting you _near_ anything that you plan on ingesting until I’ve got you _cleaned!”_

“’Ingesting’? That’s an impressively big word, Aiba-chan.” Nino smirked, being pushed into the tiled bathroom.

Aiba glared at him, moving across the room to fill the bath. “Just stop talking and take your clothes off, or do you need me to help you with that too, you big lazy-ass baby?!”

“No _sir_ …” Nino responded, pulling his shirt carefully over his head and smothering a grin. Aiba rarely got this worked up, and despite the change being rather amusing, Nino found his taller friend was also very _intimidating_ when he wanted to be. He didn’t dare _really_ disobey, especially when he knew Sho would be cracking the whip down the second he stormed in.

The bath felt nice anyway, even if Aiba had deemed it necessary to supervise him in case he got any funny ideas involving the razor.

Sho arrived just as he’d expected, in a flurry of anger and worry and anorexia facts that quickly broke off into flustered murmuring and red-faced-ness when he came upon Aiba in the middle of scrubbing Nino’s back for him. Once he’d dried off and gotten dressed, he found that Sho had actually brought a steaming container of yakisoba with him rather than waste time going through the old food. Nino was promptly shoved into a chair and sat upon by an overly-helpful Aiba to keep him from escaping while Sho force-fed him.

“Your nose looks like it’s healing well.” Sho commented as they sprawled on the couch later, TV lighting the room up as the sun outside the window began failing to do so.

“Still hurts.”

“Well, Leader has quite the arm on him.” Aiba commented before looking down at Nino, who had his head in Aiba’s lap with his legs stretched across Sho’s. “Ah… sorry.”

Nino shook his head, turning his gaze towards the television as the commercials ended and another program started playing. It was one of their variety shows, and all three of them went still and silent as they watched the silliness and laughter commence right from the start.

“… I miss Arashi.” Nino murmured, feeling his heart ache with loss. Even with his troubled emotions of a week ago when the show had been filmed, he’d been free to joke around and have fun with the others. Now what? It felt like those days were decades in the past.

Sho shut the TV off and they sat in silence for a long minute.

“… It’s not your fault.” Aiba whispered sadly.

Nino looked down, picking at the torn knee of Aiba’s jeans. “…Of course it is.” He responded softly, too tired to bring himself to sound angry at himself or at anything else.

Sho pat his leg reassuringly, as if to tell him things would be okay. “It’s late.” He said, turning to look at the clock on the wall. “You should probably get some rest.”

Nino’s fingers stilled and he hesitated for a second before speaking. “Do you guys have somewhere to be…?”

“No. Why?” Sho answered, and Nino felt the movement as Aiba shook his head too.

“…Well, I have a guest futon you guys could use… if you wanted… since it’s late…”

He could hear the knowing smile in Sho’s voice when he responded. “Thanks, that sounds like a good idea.”

“It’s the least I could do…” He mumbled.

“Well,” Sho chuckled. “I didn’t really want to leave you here by yourself anyway.”

“It’s probably lonely here on your own.” Aiba said, perceptively reading into the reasoning behind Nino’s offer and _un_ -perceptively announcing it to the already aware people in the room.

Nino frowned to hide a fond smile, and Sho laughed outright.

“Besides,” said the newscaster, helping Nino up before standing himself. “I’d worry you might change your locks or something if we left you to your own devices for any period of time.” He was still smiling but there was clearly a firm warning in his eyes. “Don’t pull this sort of thing again. You have to look after yourself.”

Nino nodded. “I know. I promise.”

They didn’t bother with the futon. Nino’s bed was big enough for the three of them to squish comfortably together, and with Sho’s silent comfort and Aiba’s radiant optimism, Nino slept through the night for the first time in days.

 

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	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He did the things he did as a joke, and for years that was fine... but turning it into a prank changed everything entirely.

Awkward.

Awkward. Awkward. _Awkward._

It was what Nino kept replaying in his head, a word that had been like a song on repeat or a broken record, playing over and over until he thought it would really drive him mad. It was the only word he could think of to describe the time that took up most of his waking hours.

It was three weeks after the breaking of his nose and his break from filming was over. He’d been approved a week before that to continue promoting their single and doing TV appearances, but Kato-san had insisted they wait for all of the bruising to fade before they proceeded with the movie. The atmosphere when he returned to the seaside town after his absence was, indeed, awkward. They were professionals, of course, they wouldn’t let the painful tension between them have an effect on their acting performance when the cameras were rolling, but everybody noticed the sudden shift from heart-achingly romantic to a stomach-turning mix of anger, longing, and hurt the second Kato-san yelled ‘cut’.

Nino was miserable. He tried to act like he didn’t care if Ohno ignored him whenever they were off film, he tried not to let his hopes sink when Ohno walked in his direction only to notice him and turn around, but it was becoming increasingly hard not to leap off the end of the wharf and drown himself whenever Ohno glanced at him with eyes full of broken promises and the ache of betrayal, looking for all the world like it literally pained him to be in Nino’s presence on such a regular basis.

He’d tried to talk to him, but getting Ohno alone and willing to stay still and listen was difficult when the older man wanted nothing to do with him. Whenever they had to hug or hold hands, Nino tried to radiate every bit of apology and regret out from his soul in the hopes of it somehow passing through to the other man via the contact. Even without touch, whenever they were close enough that he could feel the heat of Ohno’s skin reaching his own, he hoped silently that Ohno could feel him too, and would somehow understand how bad he felt.

It seemed that he didn’t, however. That, or Ohno had no plans to forgive him for what had happened. Months passed, filming for the movie finished and went into the editing stages while Arashi moved into putting together a new album, rehearsing dance steps vigorously and practicing all the new songs before they were ready to record. They were busy, constantly on the go. As a group Nino could mingle with the ones who still put up with his company whenever they had a break, but it didn’t make things much less awkward. Even in his sleep, Ohno was there to make him uncomfortable and guilty and all sorts of other things that he didn’t have the heart or energy to analyze during his waking hours. It was maddening, and he didn’t know how much more if it he could take.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  
Aiba raised his eyebrows as Nino reentered the green room in a well-fitted tux. “Um…?” He frowned, still wearing his red and silver outfit from the ‘Merry Christmas!’ Music Station Holiday Special they’d just finished performing for.

“We’ve got to be on the red carpet in about an hour, so we’re just changing here to save time.” Nino answered, clearing up Aiba’s confusion as he picked at his hair in the mirror.

“Oh! That’s tonight! I forgot!” Aiba smacked himself on the forehead. “You look good, Nino.” He smiled, turning to the newscaster beside him. “Doesn’t he look good, Sho-chan?”

“Hm, yeah. You look like you were born to do movie premiers.” Sho chuckled, catching up on the newspaper reading he’d fallen behind on recently what with the rush of work they’d been doing in preparation for the holidays.

Aiba laughed, scrunching up his eyes and nodding. “Yes! It’s true! Don’t you agree, Jun-kun?” He looked hopefully at the youngest member in the room, who shot him a glance and turned away. Jun was still adamantly pretending Nino didn’t exist off camera, despite Aiba’s continued efforts to change things over the course of the autumn months.

It was hard to believe it was winter, that the year was gradually drawing to a close. The months since everything had fallen apart in the summer had both sped by and dragged along at an excruciating pace. The passing time was torturous and Nino wished it would hurry and become nothing more than a painful memory. But the problem was that the pain hadn’t faded with time, and Nino almost wished time would stop to keep things from going unresolved between them any longer.

“…Oh, Leader. You look nice.” Jun said instead as Ohno entered the room, tugging at his cuffs.

“Thanks.” Ohno smiled, lifting a hand to scratch the back of his neck self-consciously at the same time that Nino tried to slip past him, accidentally getting smacked in the face. “Oh!” Ohno exclaimed in alarm as Nino grimaced, trying to step back and away but finding the wall behind him impeded his progress. “I’m sorry! I didn’t see you!”

Nino froze like Ohno was made of ice as the older man’s hands made contact with him and held him still as he was inspected for signs of serious injury. Ohno looked terribly guilty and concerned, babbling apologies and worried questions too fast for Nino’s stunned brain to comprehend.

“I’m sorry, are you bleeding?! Does it still hurt?” Ohno asked anxiously, reaching out to gingerly touch the tips of his fingers to Nino’s nose while the other hand still cupped his jaw.

Nino turned bright red, eyes widening as he realized how close they were. “N-no! I’m fine.” he exclaimed, pushing Ohno’s hands away and slipping briskly out the door and down the hall.

Ohno stood looking at the empty place where he’d been for a minute –also seeming shocked at what had just happened, as though he’d acted impulsively without thinking— before studying his hands and dropping them to his sides. “Shit…” He cursed under his breath, closing his eyes and leaning his forehead heavily against the wall for a second before pushing off abruptly and hurrying to leave the room and stalk down the hall in the opposite direction of that which Nino had taken.

Aiba and Sho exchanged a look, and Aiba moved like a viper to grab Jun’s hand when the younger man got up as though to follow their leader out.

“What?” Jun growled, annoyed at being stopped by Aiba’s tight grip and pleased expression.

“We need to talk.” Sho said seriously, beckoning him to the couch.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  
Jun hadn’t wanted to hear it.

They’d started by explaining what had happened, a story that Jun had already pieced together, but they continued by explaining their part in the whole plot, in detail. It was a story that he hadn’t heard, but that he found himself accidentally being interested in.

_“To sum it up,” Sho said pleasantly. “Nino is, and we are fairly certain of this, actually in love with Ohno. That changes the whole situation, right?”_

_Aiba nodded, grinning broadly. “He doesn’t know it yet, but it’s true! Just think about it!”_

Jun _was_ thinking about it, he’d been thinking about it for two hours now and he was starting to connect the dots. The longing stares he’d witnessed could quite probably have been longing for something a little deeper than just reconciliation… Nino’s hesitance to admit he’d felt nothing when Ohno had pressed him to answer… His reaction earlier in the green room...

He thought back to before the whole mess had started, even back to when they were barely older than kids… before they’d hit adulthood… Nino had always been the one to initiate Ohmiya’s skinship. Sure, fanservice was one thing, a lot of people did it, but everyone knew that Ohmiya took it one –or maybe even several- steps further.

The fact that it continued off camera, for one thing, was more than a little abnormal. Jun wondered, if Aiba and Sho were correct, then had Nino’s unknown affections grown from back so far as that? The two had always shared a special chemistry, that was for sure, but Jun had never thought that perhaps there was something beyond a strangely hands-on friendship there before. Now that he considered it, it made a lot of sense.

Jun was mad.

“How is he so stupid!?” He complained loudly to his ceiling. “That idiot! It’s one thing for _us_ to figure it out this late, but why hasn’t _he_ noticed yet! Stupid!” He sat up, checking his bedside clock before getting up to grab a suit from his wardrobe and throw it on.

There was one more piece of evidence he’d been told about that he had to see for himself. Aiba had told him the general idea behind the movie, and he’d heard bits of it from Ohno, but this was something he’d have to analyze with his own eyes before he decided to up and knock some sense into Ninomiya.

He quickly fixed his hair, straightening his tie and grabbing his car keys before running out of his apartment. The premiere had already started, and going at such a late time wasn’t really his idea of being _fashionably_ late –though he _was_ pretty fashionable—, but if he hurried he’d be able to catch the last _half_ of the film at least.

That would have to suffice.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  
Nino smiled charismatically, stopping occasionally to talk to reporters and pose for photographers as he made his way slowly down the carpet towards the doors to the theatre. He found himself acutely aware of where Ohno was, two people behind him, and could feel the other man’s eyes drifting towards him every so often. In the car on the way there this had been the same, and Nino had hoped, to no avail, that Ohno would be easier to ignore in the crowd. This was clearly not the case.

“Ninomiya-san, can you give us a moment of your time?” Called a reporter, and Nino gladly took the distraction as he sauntered up to the man with the microphone and his assistant with a camera. “Ninomiya-san, are you happy with how the film turned out?”

“I haven’t seen it all myself yet, actually, but I’m pretty confident in it.” He chuckled. “I think people are going to like it, it’s a touching story.”

“So I’ve heard.” Nino tried not to frown at the suggestive tone. “Speaking of which, the storyline between yourself and Arashi’s Ohno Satoshi-san is no secret, it’s been all the talk lately. Many of the scenes are very intimate, correct?” Nino nodded slowly, wishing he’d posed for a few more photographs instead. “Tell us, because fans are dying to know, how would you describe the atmosphere when working on those scenes with such a close friend and colleague? Was it comfortable, or did you find it difficult?”

Nino hesitated, glancing in Ohno’s direction from the corner of his eye. The other man had stopped to stand with Oguri Shun, lit up brightly by a flurry of camera flashes. Nino quickly looked away, taking a deep breath and smiling his most charming smile. “It was awkward, to say the least, but Nobuto and Shunsuke’s relationship _is_ a little awkward, so I think we were able to work it in our favor.” He bowed quickly, signaling that he was done being questioned and thanking the interviewer for his time before backing back into the crowd that was beginning to inch a little quicker towards the theatre doors.

It was starting soon, but he couldn’t wait for it to be over.

As he said his short piece to the attending audience and waited for Kato-san and the producers to finish talking and thanking everybody for coming, he wondered how bad it would be to get caught attempting to sleep through the screening…

“Hey…” Ohno said slowly, sitting in the empty spot to Nino’s right as they filed into the reserved section of seats. “Mind if I sit here?”

He’d already sat anyway, and it appeared that all the other spots were quickly being filled. Besides, Nino had no excuse to send him away. He shook his head, keeping his eyes on the blank screen. “Go ahead.”

“Thanks…” Ohno replied quietly, linking and unlinking his fingers in his lap. Nino tried not to be distracted by the movement and was relieved when the lights dimmed. The audience applauded as the screen lit up and the production company logos appeared. “Here we go…” He heard Ohno breathe to himself, and Nino wondered if the older man was dreading seeing this as much as he was. He turned his attention to the opening scene.

\---

_A bus is moving through the city, passing shops and apartment buildings before heading into more residential areas and eventually passing a sign that says ‘You are now leaving Tokyo’. It continues along roads that eventually become much more rural, passing over deep potholes and between tall cornfields. At each stop, fewer and fewer people get off, until there are very few people left in the big, dusty, vehicle. Through all of this, one of the lighter orchestra themes of the film plays jauntily, and the opening credits fade in and out in a quaint white font._

_The scene cuts to inside the bus, focusing on Nobuto and his brother Yasuo, who are sitting side by side. Yasuo –in the aisle seat— is looking at a black-framed portrait of their mother; the urn containing her ashes is wrapped carefully in cloth and in the open bag resting between his feet. Across the aisle, an elderly lady is staring quite obviously. Yasuo is oblivious, but Nobuto looks quite uncomfortable._

_“Put that away.” He says in an undertone, pushing at the frame. “You’re attracting attention.”_

_“What?” Yasuo frowns. “Why can’t I look at it?”_

_“Is that your mother, dear?” The old lady asks, pointing. Yasuo turns in surprise and nods. “She passed away?”_

_“Oh… yes. This past Thursday.” He answers solemnly, looking down at the photograph again. “…Cancer.”_

_“You poor dears…” The woman croons kindly. “You two are brothers? How old are you?”_

_“Yes, I’m Fujiwara Yasuo, twenty-four, and this is my younger brother, Fujiwara Nobuto. He’s only twenty. Our father has never been present so I guess I’m in charge of his well-being now…”_

_Nobuto rolls his eyes and the woman nods, looking very sympathetic to what she considers a tragic story before pausing to look them over again. “You’re not from the country are you? What are you doing all the way out here? You haven’t missed your stop, have you?”_

_“Oh, no. We’re on our way to our grandparents’ home. She wanted her grave to be in her old hometown, and she asked that we spend some time there.”_

_“Why is that?”_

_“Yes, why is that, Aniki?” Nobuto asks humorlessly._

_“I’ve told you, I don’t know.” Yasuo frowns at his brother before returning his attention to the old woman. “I think maybe to get in touch with our roots again? We haven’t seen our grandparents since we were children, Nobuto barely has any memory of them… That, or maybe they need some help running the family business. I’m not sure, but whatever the reason, Mother asked it of us and we’re going to carry out her last wishes… We’ll stay for the summer and head back to Tokyo before the cold weather comes in. It’s not a big deal.” His last words are clearly directed to his brother, who is sulking silently and staring out the window._

_“What a kind young man you are…” Says the woman, sinking back into her seat. “Your grandparents are lucky to have you.”_

_“Ah,” Yasuo chuckles humbly. “Not at all, thank you…”_

_The bus goes over a bump and Nobuto smacks his forehead off of the window, wincing in pain and holding his head as he ignores Yasuo, who is trying -without success- to hide his laughter._

\---

Nino looked over, seeing Ohno smiling in amusement at the scene. Nino smiled too, wishing they could laugh with each other when they weren’t sitting side-by-side out of nothing but necessity, in a dark room where they might as well have been in two separate worlds rather than just two separate seats.

“Oh-chan…” Nino said quietly.

Ohno looked towards him, smile fading to a carefully neutral expression. “…Hm?” He hummed back.

On the screen, the bus pulled up into a compacted dirt square at the hub of a small coastal village. The camera panned past a sign that welcomed visitors to ‘Tenkyou’, showed Nobuto and Yasuo getting off the bus with their luggage, and then panned up on a crane to show a quickly sweeping view of the quaint little buildings and leafy trees framing the docks and the blue ocean. Mountains could be seen rising in the distance on either side of the water, and the horizon straight ahead was _far_ in the distance. The sun overhead glittered brightly off the waves and reflected off the brightly colored paint of several small fishing boats. On the screen, the words ‘Orenji no Sora no Shitano Aoi Umi’ –‘Blue Seas under Orange Skies’— appeared and faded out gently, transitioning into a scene featuring the Fujiwara brothers walking through the tiny town.

“…I’m sorry.” Nino said softly.

Ohno stared at him for a long moment before looking down. “…Me too…” He paused before turning away, focusing his attention back on the big screen.

Nino sighed.

 

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It was easier to get into the theatre than Jun had thought it would be. He told the people working the door inside that he had forgotten his invitation, and since he _was_ Matsumoto Jun, they believed him without checking the guest list and let him into the celebrity guest section, separate from the section where regular civilians who’d managed to get tickets were seated.

Inside the theatre was dark, the movie was about half way through, and it seemed that every seat was filled. As a particularly bright shot came up on the screen, Jun managed to pick out Ohno’s brown hair, and was both surprised and pleased to find that Nino was seated beside him. He thought that perhaps they’d just been told to sit together, to better promote themselves as a duo in the film.

Quietly, he crept across the back of the section, ducking low so as not to block anybody’s view of the screen. His plan was to sit on the stairs at the far side in a position where he, hopefully, would not be freaking out the other viewers, but would still have a good view of his bandmates. He sat down slowly, trying not to draw attention to himself as he craned his neck. Nino and Ohno were fairly close to the aisle where he was sitting, but there was a guy sitting beside them in the aisle seat, and he was _tall_. The tall guy shifted in his seat, providing Jun with a momentary glimpse of Nino conspicuously sneaking a peek at Ohno’s profile, but then the mystery guy was in the way again, reaching up to fix his hair and turning to stare in Jun’s direction.

Jun started, realizing that he’d been noticed and trying not to gulp.

The sound of chirping birds heralded the arrival of morning in the film and the screen lit up in a soft gold light. Jun raised his eyebrows, blinking in surprise as he was able to see the equally surprised face staring back at him.

“MatsuJun?”

“Shun-kun?”

Nino glanced over at the hissed voices and Jun dropped instantly to the ground, covering his head unnecessarily with his arms and grimacing at how the carpet was slightly sticky with something that clung to his cheek when he began sitting up. He pulled a popcorn kernel off of his face and glared at Shun, who was frowning in confusion and trying not to snicker at his expense.

“Shut up.”

“What are you doing here? Can’t find your seat?”

Jun hesitated. “No… I’m spying on _them_ ,” he gestured, “actually…”

“Really?” Jun nodded, Oguri turned to look at the pair in mild confusion and curiosity. “Well…. Okay.” He pet his armrest, leaning back so that Jun could sidle up and peek over it to see around him.

“Thanks.” Jun whispered. He had a perfect view, and a good system worked out. If Nino or Ohno ever happened to glance their way, Jun ducked down out of sight and Oguri leaned forward to block their view in case Jun was too slow. Silently, feeling quite proud of himself for his spy work, Jun set to being as observant as possible, alternating between watching the film and watching his fellow group members’ reactions.

The movie had reached the point in the plot where Yasuo was starting to discover the truth behind his mother and Nobuto was in denial about his feelings, trying to pretend they didn’t exist for Shunsuke’s sake. Jun found himself actually getting into the plot, making a note to actually go see the thing sometime when he wasn’t distracted by the people a couple of seats away. As the sexual tension between Nobuto and Shunsuke grew, Jun found that Ohno was following the storyline with mournful eyes, but Nino was only glancing up occasionally, spending most of the time staring down at his knees and looking deep in thought.

Jun turned his attention back to the screen himself, wondering if they were just uncomfortable with watching or if Nino was seriously battling with his emotions. Nobuto and Shunsuke were climbing into a rowboat. _“I want to show you something.”_ Shunsuke was saying. _“It’s my favorite place in the whole village.”_

Jun was personally a little surprised at the kiss scene that came next. He heard many of the audience members gasp in surprise and wondered if he had actually done the same, judging by the amused grin Oguri Shun was giving him. Honestly though, it was a little strange, he himself had never pulled a kiss scene off so passionately. He wouldn’t be surprised, he told himself, if there was very little acting going on there. Glancing over, he saw Ohno had switched to looking down, whereas Nino was staring at the screen with his eyebrows drawn tightly together. He looked physically pained, and his expression was the epitome of confused.

Jun grinned smugly. He was officially convinced. It certainly seemed that Sho and Aiba had been right after all…

The sun was setting. Nobuto and Shunsuke were back at the docks and kissing again, briefly and gently this time, as they prepared to climb out of the little oared vessel. The grandfather was, much to the sinking of Jun’s stomach, standing on the wharf and watching coldly. However, Jun was distracted from the film by the plan he currently had in mind…

The film cut to the grandparents’ home. Nobuto was kneeling on the floor, his grandmother and Yasuo were kneeling at the opposite side of the room, and his grandfather was pacing back and forth, yelling at him for being a disgrace to their family name and so on and so forth.

 _“But I love him!”_ Nobuto suddenly blurt out to Jun’s pleased surprise, tired of just taking the verbal abuse. _“I do! And I don’t care if he’s a guy, it doesn’t matter! I’m in love with him and you can’t change that.”_

The scene went on, but Jun had seen Nino sink deeper into his seat, rubbing his temples as though his head were pounding, and he decided that he’d seen enough. He’d watch the movie from beginning to end some other time, but right now he had to find a spare key and do a little planning on what exactly he’d have to say and do to finally put some long-overdue sense into Ninomiya’s head…

Hey, _somebody_ had to do it.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He did the things he did as a joke, and for years that was fine... but turning it into a prank changed everything entirely.

Nino spent twenty minutes at the after party. The first five were spent mingling dutifully with the other guests, staff, and cast, and the following fifteen were spent between a quiet corner at the back of the hall and the table where all the champagne was. He lost count of how many he’d downed –probably not all that many, considering his low tolerance level, though it became increasingly hard to actually count the glasses anyway as his vision blurred—, trying to suffocate the awful feeling that had been welling up inside him throughout the whole film… It was the feeling that he’d made a big mistake, one that was much bigger and complex than he’d previously realized, and the alcohol was helping to stop his brain from functioning well enough to figure out what that feeling meant.

“Whoa, Nino…”

Nino looked up apologetically into the face of the person he’d just stumbled into. It was Oguri Shun, frowning down at him in concern. “Oh… sorry. I didn’t see you up there…”

Shun raised an eyebrow. “Is that a joke about my height?” He chuckled.

“No… I’m just…” Nino frowned. He felt like he was sinking, and when he tried to stand straight on his own his legs wobbled like the bones had turned to Jell-O. “Oof… what is this?” He mumbled, somehow having crashed face-first into the taller actor’s chest and finding that he seemed to be stuck there. “You huggin’ me?”

“No.” Oguri’s laugh rumbled in his chest and Nino wished he’d keep talking; it’d easily lull him to sleep. “Nino, you’ve been drinking.”

“Everyone’s drinking… It’s a party…”

“You’ve had too much.” He sounded mildly disapproving, and Nino realized they were in motion. “What exactly were you trying to do? Knock yourself out? You would have caused a scene, you know.”

Nino just frowned, clinging to Oguri’s jacket and stumbling along with him, completely depending on the other man to keep him upright. “…Where we goin’?...” He asked after a minute, realizing that movement generally meant they were moving somewhere, and the noise of the party seemed to have faded to a dull, distant, murmur.

“I just called you a taxi.” Oguri answered, sounding amused.

Nino turned his head to see him slip a sleek red phone into his pocket. “…You did?” His stomach turned as he was set down onto a bench. He looked around, view no longer blocked by Oguri’s chest, and found they were in a corridor near one of the venue’s backdoors. Through the windows he could see it looked out on a paved courtyard and a small section of the parking lot.

Oguri sat beside him. “They’ll be here soon. Ten minutes or so.”

Nino nodded gratefully, slumping down into a terrible slouch and letting his features sink into a glum pout and a deeply thoughtful frown. The windows were open and away from the bright lights and crowds his alcohol-induced daze was fading to feel like more of a buzz than anything, though he still wouldn’t trust himself to stand too quickly on his own. He was bothered, by a number of things, and all the emotions that came with the troublesome thoughts were starting to feel like they were choking him.

“Nino. _Nino_.” Shun was saying his name, and Nino realized vaguely that he’d probably been talking for a minute or so already.

“Sorry… what?” He blinked blearily, trying to lose the tired sagging in his features and knowing he probably looked totally pathetic.

“I asked you what was going on.”

“Oh…” Nino sighed, sinking further down into his seat. He reached up to undo the buttons closing his tuxedo jacket and loosen his tie slowly. “…I don’t know anymore.”

Shun was thoughtful for a moment, watching him carefully. “Things between you and Ohno-san seem weird lately… Has that got anything to do with why you’re drinking? Maybe?”

Nino was silent and still for a long moment before turning to the tall actor beside him and fixing him with a serious stare. “Oguri-san... Are you interested in men or women?”

“Uh, women. Why?” Shun asked, looking confused and mildly alarmed by the sudden change in Nino’s demeanor.

“What if I’m _gay?!”_ Nino blurt out, biting his lip belatedly as though to keep the comment in and watching for Oguri’s response with wide eyes.

“Umm… is that what’s going on? You two are—?”

“Will you kiss me?”

“I—… _What?!”_ The actor spluttered, shocked by the request.

Nino lunged towards him, clinging to his lapels with tight fists and looking up pleadingly and desperately into the taller man’s bewildered expression. “Please! Like we’re acting, professionally. I know it’s weird, but I just _need_ this. Please!”

Oguri pursed his lips, looking around at the empty hallway. His eyes fell on the view outside the windows. “… The taxi’s here—“

“He can wait. This won’t take long.” Nino cut into his protest, leaning closer and using his most Aiba-like puppy eyes he could manage, filled with raw emotion. “Please, Oguri-kun…”

“But, Nino…”

“I’ll love you forever if you do it.”

“I’d really rather if you _didn’t_ …” Shun countered, trying to avoid Nino’s too-close-for-comfort gaze and failing miserably. He chewed the inside of his mouth, feeling his resolve melting and hating it. “… Just professionally. This doesn’t mean anything, okay? It’s just like work—“

Nino didn’t let him finish, instead using his grip to pull himself up and forward, kneeling on the bench and almost in Oguri’s lap as their lips met messily. Shun’s mouth was open mid-sentence and Nino took it as an opportunity to slip his tongue inside, searching for the spark that would make his blood bubble and his chest swell and his heart palpitate at the kiss’s very _memory_.

He couldn’t find it.

Shun kissed back with slowness that said he was uncomfortable, and possibly trying not to panic, but it wasn’t a _bad_ kiss by far. In terms of skill, Nino had had far worse and few better –if he was to be honest—, but nothing could seem to compare to that kiss in the rowboat. Nothing.

He’d thought maybe he was just gay and hadn’t come to terms with it. He’d really only ever kissed women in the past, but no one had ever sparked any fire in him and none of his relationships had ever lasted long. He blamed his love-life difficulties on being busy, devoted more to his work than his girlfriends, but recently he’d begun to question whether or not that was actually the case. If he was gay, that would explain the huge difference between kissing girls and kissing Ohno, but if he didn’t feel those things when he was kissing Shun…

…He was just very confused.

Coming to such a conclusion, he pulled away slowly. His gaze fell and he frowned down at their laps as he tried to determine what such a conclusion meant. Outside, he heard the taxi driver beep the horn of his car impatiently, and that was what brought him back to his senses. “… I’m…” he cleared his throat, getting up a little unsteadily from the bench and bowing his gratitude to the other actor. “… I’m gonna go.” He smiled thinly; hoping he didn’t look too disappointed or lost. “Thanks.”

“Nino,” Shun said warily, getting up and following him to the door. “I’m sorry if you… if you think of me as more than just a friend, but—“

“Don’t worry.” Nino said evenly as Shun held the door open for him and a wave of cool night air wafted over his skin. “It didn’t really do anything for me anyway.” He turned, waving to the cabby and staggering over to climb into the backseat.

Shun stood in the doorway with his brows furrowed as he watched him go. The door swung shut behind him and he hesitated before pressing his lips self-consciously to the back of his hand. His frown deepened and he cocked his head slightly to one side as he wandered back towards the party. “…What was _that_ supposed to mean?...”

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  
Nino tripped on the doormat as he entered his apartment, toeing his shoes off and stumbling his way into the kitchen. He almost dropped his glass but somehow managed to catch it in the dark and promptly began running the tap. The window above the sink let the moonlight in and Nino’s eyes adjusted quickly. He stared at the way the faint, bluish light lit up the stream of clear water, making it look like moving crystal. It took him a while to realize he was spacing out and let the cold water fill his glass. He drank it quickly, enjoying the way the cold hurt and the way it helped to chase away the taste of the alcohol. He sighed as he finished it, setting the glass down a little rougher and louder than he usually would, and shuffled like a bag of exhausted bones and useless muscle towards his bedroom.

He wanted to sleep; he wanted his mind to shut up for at least a _few_ hours.

He didn’t bother taking off the tuxedo, only undoing the first couple of buttons on the white shirt before falling onto the already unmade bed and yanking the covers up over his clothed body. He was terribly uncomfortable, but he didn’t care. He didn’t have the energy for caring. “Fuck, this is a mess…” He mumbled, curling up against the warmth that occupied the other side of the bed.

“And who do we have to blame for _that?”_ Questioned another voice, acutely close to him.

Nino’s eyes snapped open in alarm as he realized the warmth beside him was actually another body, but before he could scream a hand was clamped firmly over his mouth and the other person had moved, their larger weight pressing down on him and pinning him to the bed. “MMph!” Nino thrashed, trying to throw the other body off but finding there was very little he could do in his current position. His limbs felt like lead, and a very small part of him wanted to give up struggling entirely and just accept whatever gruesome fate karma wanted to throw at him.

“Nino, calm down!” His assaulter was telling him, almost dragging him slowly across the mattress so they were closer to the left-side edge. “Just— Ow! Stop that! It’s me, Jun!” The mystery man let go of Nino’s arms long enough to reach and flick on the bedside lamp, and for Nino to shove him off the bed just a split second before the room was lit up dimly and he realized that it was, indeed, Matsumoto Jun who had jumped him.

Nino sat up abruptly, clothes and hair a rumpled mess as a result of the struggle. “What the _fuck_ , Jun?!”

Jun winced as he got to his feet, rubbing his ass and glaring in Nino’s direction. “I had to talk to you, but you took longer than I expected so I made myself at home.”

“In my bed?! How the hell do you people keep getting in here?!” Nino demanded, swinging his legs off the side of the bed.

“Our manager has a spare key. Aiba tipped me off.” Jun smirked. “All you need to do is say it’s an emergency that concerns the future of Arashi and he’ll practically throw it at you.”

“…That’s it.” Nino glared. “I don’t care _what_ Sho says, I’m changing my locks. First thing tomorrow.”

“Nino, I do consider this an emergency.”

“Go home, sleep in your own bed.” Nino grumbled, feeling angry and flustered and bothered. “You’re supposed to be ignoring me, remember? Why are you talking to me all of a sudden—“

“Because you’re an idiot!” Jun burst, frustrated at being unable to get a word in edgewise. “Shut up for a minute before I pin you again.”

“First you ignore me for months, and now you’re ambushing me in my own house just so you can insult me?!” Nino tried to stand up but moved too quickly and fell back onto the mattress. The world was spinning slightly, and he had to close his eyes for a moment while everything righted itself.

“Are you drunk?”

“What’re you gonna do about it?”

“Idiot. I’m here to help you, stop mouthing off at me.”

“Don’t need your help.” He turned away stubbornly, but Jun’s sudden tight grip on his jaw forced him to turn back and look the younger idol in the face.

“Listen. To. Me.” Jun said forcefully. “You, have a problem.”

“No kidding?”

“Shut up. Do you know what your problem is?”

“I’m a giant ass? The worst best friend in the history of ever? I probably only had a couple champagne and I’m going to have one hell of a hangover anyway?”

“No, you’re in denial.”

“Am not. I just admitted everything!”

“I’m talking about you and Ohno, dumbass.”

“So was I, refer back to problems one and two, please.”

Jun slapped him, not brutally hard but still with enough force that Nino was shocked into silence at the sting of it. “You’re in denial about Ohno.”

“… What are you talking about?” Nino cradled his cheek carefully, glaring down at the carpet by Jun’s feet. “He knows the whole truth now…”

“ _You_ don’t even know _half_ of the truth.” Jun countered. “You’re in denial about your feelings.”

“I’m not gay, if that’s what you’re saying.” Nino grumbled.

“Oh really? Well, I beg to differ.”

“It’s true, I already thought of that and it turns out that I’m not. I tried kissing Oguri-kun and it wasn’t anything like—, well, it wasn’t anything special.”

“You—“Jun blinked twice, caught off guard by the admittance. “You _WHAT?!_ Why?!”

“Ow, you’re yelling! I thought if I was gay then that would explain why things were so weird lately, but I guess that’s not the case so—“

“Oh my god, you’re impossible.” Jun sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and making a mental note to have a talk with his actor friend sometime soon. “I’m going to have to spell this out, aren’t I?”

“I’m not stupid, Jun. You’re just being weird and cryptic. Whatever it is that’s so obvious, clearly I’m not going to figure it out on my own so maybe you should just—“

“You, Ninomiya Kazunari, are in love with Ohno Satoshi. There.”

“…What?! That’s it?”

“It doesn’t have to be a big complex explanation does it? Think about it. You are in love with him, Aiba and Sho and I all agree, and you probably have been for a long time.”

“No… I would _know_ if I…”

“See? Denial.”

“Of course I would deny that! It’s not true! It can’t be!”

“It can’t be, or you don’t want it to be?”

“But—…”

“No ‘but’s, Nino. You haven’t thought about it properly. You’re confused aren’t you? And he’s the one who makes you confused, am I right?” He raised an eyebrow and Nino just gaped at him. Jun could practically see the unwilling cogs start to turn in his head. “Everybody else figured this out long ago, you and Ohno are the only oblivious ones left. Enough is enough, you’ve got to man up and admit it now.”

“Jun… I don’t think—“

“I _know_ you don’t, so start now!” He watched while Nino’s brow furrowed, thoughts travelling in directions he hadn’t previously allowed them to go. “You can’t let this go on any longer. Ohno won’t wait for you, and after all this I wonder if he’ll even forgive you in the end, or _believe_ you, for that matter…”

Nino was barely listening to his bandmate anymore. His thoughts were whirling all over the place and he was struggling to keep up with them. Was he in denial? Was that why he kept avoiding any sort of mental analyzing of the kiss in the rowboat, or the way it felt to hold Ohno’s hand, or the real reason why he’d always been so drawn to and touchy with his leader?… Was denial the reason why he told himself there was nothing going on when Ohno stirred up feelings inside him that he’d never felt so _strongly_ before in his life? There were too many scenes to look at and study, spanning back to his days as a Junior, so Nino focused on that one word, ‘feelings’. How did Ohno make him feel…?

He almost gasped.

As it was, he stiffened, eyes widening slightly as realization and relief and regret –and a multitude of other emotions he didn’t have time to recognize— hit him like a smack to the forehead. He barely managed to stay sitting upright, wanting to collapse under the weight of it all at the same time that he felt like he could simply float away with all the confusion of the past several months being lifted off of his chest. When his thoughts cleared enough that he was aware of where he was again, he saw that Jun was standing back with his arms crossed and smirking at him with an expression of smug satisfaction.

“So… I _am_ gay?”

“Idiot! Is _that_ the point you’re still stuck on?!” Jun burst in exasperated frustration. Nino looked down, heart sinking. “What about Ohno, have you come to your senses yet?”

“…I blew it though…” He mumbled lowly. “You’re right, he’d never believe I was telling the truth this time.”

“Are you giving up?”

“It’s _better_ this way, isn’t it?!” Nino bit back. “I’ve messed with him enough, I don’t think he needs me to confuse him any more. Let him move on, I— I can cope…”

“Liar. If you really love him, you won’t let him go like this.”

“That’s not how that expression goes at all! Aren’t you supposed to set loved ones free?”

“Nino, he loves you. He doesn’t hate you for what happened, but he’s been hurting for months now because he thinks you _don’t_ love him. If you do, and you can convince him that you do, then you can both be happy. Shouldn’t _that_ be what you want? Isn’t it? Wouldn’t you like to see him smile at you again?”

Nino looked helpless, leaning forward and scrubbing his face with his hands. “…How?” He croaked quietly, voice muffled in his palms. “I don’t know how to fix this now…”

“Find him. Right now, go to him and tell him the truth.”

“But—“ Nino tugged at his hair, floundering. “I wouldn’t even know where to start… or what to say…”

“Good! This isn’t a movie, you don’t need a script to follow. Go, say every true thing that comes to your mind, spill everything out in the open and see if he accepts you. That’s the best thing you can do.”

“…Jun…”

“Do you know where he is now?” Nino shook his head and Jun pulled out his cell phone, dialing his leader’s number. “Hi, Leader? Oh, where are you at the moment? …Just wondering… I was out buying something and I saw someone that looked like you. Guess not… Never mind, I’ll see you later then. Take your time.” He hung up, slipping the phone back into his pocket and pulling out a couple of neatly folded bills. He pressed them into Nino’s palm. “He just left the party and he’s on his way to his family’s house to grab some things. Take a taxi, you might be able to catch him before he heads off to my apartment.”

Nino looked from the money to the younger man standing in front of him, not sure what he should say. He rather wanted to thank him, and maybe pull him into an uncomfortable bear hug. “Jun… I—“ He bit his lip, embarrassed by suddenly getting so emotional.

Jun rolled his eyes, affectionately, and helped him up by the wrist. “Go.” He said gently, pushing him towards the bedroom door. “He won’t wait for you.”

Nino nodded, turning and running unsteadily from the room with the bills clenched tightly in his fist.

If he thought the elevator ride was hard on his patience, the long drive in the back of the taxi was brutal torture. It was a Saturday night, traffic was insane, and for most of the trip they seemed to be barely crawling along the pavement. His nerves were running haywire, making him jumpy and anxious and ready to explode with tension if they didn’t get somewhere soon. He’d never get there in time at the rate they were going, and his lungs heaved with his barely restrained want to scream his frustration to the world.

Rather than think –a dangerous pastime in his current state—, he focused on staring intently out of the window, scrolling through his memories like home movies that made his heart flutter in ways he hadn’t noticed before. It took a while before he realized that he recognized the scenery beyond the dirty glass. There was a convenience store right next to a movie rental shop, a pet supplies store, and a gray office building with a red roof, and Nino realized that behind the street they were on was the residential neighborhood where Ohno’s family lived. He was very familiar with the area.

He turned his attention to the view out of the front of the vehicle. They were stopped at a red light, the turn off into Ohno’s neighborhood was two intersections ahead of them, and some idiot had gotten himself rear-ended in the one they were stopped at, making it so that nobody could get anywhere and traffic was piling up crazily. Nino sighed harshly, debating silently with himself for a moment before clearing his throat to get the driver’s attention. “Um, this is fine. I’ll just get off here.”

“Oh, uh one second, I can’t pull over here.”

“It’s fine.” Nino shoved the bills in the man’s direction. “Keep the change.” He said, not caring if it was a _lot_ of change since it wasn’t _his_ change anyway, and clambered quickly out of the vehicle to avoid any more protests. He weaved quickly through the stopped cars, running across the video store parking lot and slipping through the small alley between it and ‘Blue Bone’s Pet Depo’.

It was nearly midnight. Ohno’s neighborhood was dark and quiet, and the air was cold and damp. He ran harder, trying to put more distance behind him and get his blood pumping hot in his veins. He didn’t know what he’d do if Ohno had already left. He wasn’t sure that he had a phone on him, and he had no more money to take a cab or other public transport. Besides, if he didn’t say what he had to tonight, he wasn’t sure if he’d ever get up the courage to do it again…

He panted, dress shoes slapping dully on the sidewalk. His shadow stretched and ran alongside him as he passed beneath the orange glow of streetlights, and neighborhood dogs barked as he disturbed the quiet of the night with his footfalls. A left, a right, past two streets and he took another left. He could see the Ohno family house on the upcoming bend in the road, bringing up a nostalgic feeling from his past as well as a new rush of emotions… A figure was coming out of the gate, and Nino’s heart sped up to a _frightening_ pace considering how hard it had already been pounding from his run.

Ohno was still in his tuxedo, looking refined and sleek and breathtaking. One hand held a small duffle bag slung over his shoulder, and the other was scrolling through songs on his iPod, the headphones being stuck in his ears. Nino considered for a moment that he too was still in his tuxedo, but it was rumpled and unbuttoned, his hair was a mess, and he probably smelled of alcohol –and also possibly of Oguri Shun’s cologne—, but there was no going back. He had to do this.

“Oh-chan!” He exclaimed, half-gasping for a breath of air as he practically lunged himself at the unaware man. He came to a stop not a foot away from him, and Ohno stumbled back two more in shock while Nino bent to catch his breath. “Satoshi…” He breathed, swallowing.

“N-Nino?! What are you doing here?” He yanked the headphones from his ears, looking confused and alarmed.

“Satoshi, I need to talk to you.” Nino straightened up and met his gaze. Suddenly his mind was blank, and whatever he’d been planning to say died in his throat. Ohno was watching him silently and expectantly, and faced with the person who suddenly was so much more to him than he’d ever realized, Nino found he was no longer sure of how to read him or his expression. “I—…” He broke off, suddenly feeling panic begin to well up inside him as words refused to come.

“Nino...?” Ohno trailed off, sounding wary and guarded as well as concerned. “There’s a taxi coming for me… we probably don’t have much time, so—“

“I’m sick of this!” Nino blurt, rushing to continue when Ohno looked taken aback. “I’m sick of us being awkward and not getting along anymore. I want to fix this. I _need_ to, okay?” Ohno nodded, expression not betraying his thoughts as Nino continued to ramble at full speed. “This has been going on for a long time and I was really stupid to do what I did, I knew that all along, but I didn’t know--… I didn’t know that I was stupid even way back before that. You—“ He took a deep breath to sort his thoughts out as he knew most of the words leaving his mouth made little sense. “You mean a lot to me, Satoshi. I really care about you, and it’s only now that things are _bad_ between us that I’m realizing how important you are…”

“You mean a lot of things to me too, Nino.” Ohno said slowly, like he was still thinking deeply.

“Which is why I decided to tell you that I think I’m—“

“—I agree with you.”

Nino blinked, thrown off guard by the interruption. “W-what…?”

“I agree. I’m tired of us not getting along like we used to. We’ve been friends forever right?” He stepped gingerly closer to the younger man. “What happened…” Ohno bit his lip, considering his words. “It’s not that it doesn’t still hurt, but I can put it behind me for you, and us. It doesn’t hurt as much to know you don’t love me after all, than it does to think that I’ve lost your friendship.” He paused and Nino could only gape, unable to form a response or rebuttal. “I used to be happy just to be your best friend, and I can be happy with that again. I _would_ be happy with that.”

“You…” Nino felt cold, his mind seemed to be mostly shut down in confusion and shock. He was ultimately overwhelmed. “That’s what you want? You’re not in love with me anymore?”

Ohno was silent, looking down and biting his lip as he touched his fingers softly to Nino’s hand, hesitating before folding their digits together. “… I want things to go back to the way they were.” He looked up, smiling weakly and giving Nino’s limp hand a gentle squeeze. “Let’s just be friends again… Can we?”

Nino stared at him. The sky and the street and the quiet night wrapped round them seemed to be melded into one big nothingness, and all he could see was Ohno’s anxious and hopeful eyes, staring at him through the breaking walls the older man had constructed to protect himself.

If this was what Ohno wanted, if this was what he said would really make him happy, and if Nino wasn’t confident that he could make Ohno happy in any _other_ way, then how could he bring himself to say no? The reason he’d come there was no longer important. Ohno had locked his true feelings and uncertainties away for years before Nino had hurt him and forced him to move on, and Nino was more than willing to sacrifice his new revelations for the happily oblivious state they’d maintained in the past. Jun would disapprove, but Nino wasn’t sure he’d actually discovered feelings for Ohno at all. Maybe he’d just thought and made himself believe that he loved Ohno, because it was what Jun wanted him to realize and it was the only way Nino thought things could be fixed… That sounded ridiculous, even in his thoughts, but Nino forced himself to believe it was the truth.

“Yeah.” He said. His chest felt constricted, and he couldn’t understand why it hurt to force the words out. “Let’s be friends, Oh-chan.”

Ohno hugged him tightly, sagging with relief and whispering ‘I missed you’ into Nino’s neck. It took everything Nino had not to cry into Ohno’s shoulder, and if his eyes still watered, he told himself it was due to the joy of new beginnings, and not the sadness of something being snuffed out and lost before it had been given time enough to live…

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *runs and hides*  
> So.... you probably all want to kill me at the moment...? x3
> 
> I swear things get better! I swears!  
> 2 chapters left~~~ Though chapter 14 is long long long.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He did the things he did as a joke, and for years that was fine... but turning it into a prank changed everything entirely.

It was two thirty in the morning. Jun had gotten home, showered, performed his nightly skin-care routine and read three chapters of a detective novel he’d recently started. Ohno had not come back to his apartment, and while Jun didn’t really want to imagine what his bandmates were up to, he couldn’t help smiling smugly. Gloating about his better matchmaking skills in front Aiba was going to be the highlight of his week, besides the fact that the tension within the group would have disappeared and everybody would have _him_ to thank for it.

He switched off the lamp, set his reading glasses aside on the end table and got comfy beneath the covers. Of course, just as he could feel himself sinking towards sleep, his phone rang. Jun pursed his lips; tempted to let it go to his answering machine but also worrying that it could be a friend in trouble and that he’d hate himself forever if he ignored it. He threw the covers off, swung himself wearily out of the bed and stalked across to the cordless phone on his dresser. He was ready to throw a fit if there _wasn’t_ an emergency, despite not actually wanting it to be one.

“Do you know what time it is?” He barked into the receiver, not bothering with a greeting.

_“MatsuJun, you picked up!”_

Jun frowned. “Leader?”

 _“I was afraid you’d be sleeping!”_ He chuckled giddily, and Jun wondered if his happiness had gone to his head and short-circuited his brain.

“I was trying…” He grumbled. “Leader, why are you calling me?”

_“I’m bored, Jun-kun~… Nino keeps spacing out on me.”_

“What?” Jun’s eyebrows pulled together and he wandered over to the desk chair to sit down and stare out the window at the night scene below. Tokyo was still busy, even at such a late hour of the night… or was it early hour of the morning? Both seemed appropriate. “…Where are you guys?”

“ _At… I dunno… at a bar? It’s near that place you took me last week… I think.”_

“You went drinking?” Jun rubbed his temple with his free hand. He could come up with a list of more appropriate things for the couple to be doing, none of which involved leaving Ohno’s bedroom… Again, he stopped his thoughts from wandering detailed paths in such directions. “Who’s idea was that?”

 _“Mine.”_ Ohno chirped, and Jun was surprised he hadn’t pinpointed his cheeriness as drunkenness earlier in the conversation. _“To celebrate.”_

“Nino has his own place you know, you could have ‘celebrated’ there…”

Ohno was silent for a moment, and when he spoke again his voice was lowered. _“Well… I think that probably would have been awkward. I thought public places would be—“_ He hiccupped. _“—better to s-start. You know, since it’s just the two of us…”_

“… But…. Why? Leader, you know you have to keep your hands to yourself if you’re in public right? No matter how drunk you are.”

_“What? What are you talking about? I’m not stupid, I know, it’s safer this way and that’s why.”_

“You’re afraid he’ll jump you or something?”

_“Um… What? MatsuJun, I think you’re losing it… Nobody is going to be jumping anybody…”_

Jun wondered if maybe he _was_ losing it. Certainly none of what Ohno was slurring through the phone at him was making one lick of sense. “I don’t understand, Leader. Don’t you _want_ to though?”

Ohno was silent again; this time for so long that Jun was starting to wonder whether he’d hung up, passed out, or lost reception. _“… Jun, I decided to forget about all that.”_

Jun blinked, trying to process his leader’s words. “You WHAT?” He roared. Then what were they celebrating? _Nino’s_ broken heart?!

_“Jun, I missed the way things were before, and so does everyone else, so I decided I don’t love him anymore.”_

Wha— But, you—“ Jun squeezed his eyes shut, trying to untangle his tongue and sort through his words. “You can’t just _forge_ _t_ you love him! You _do_ love him, and he—“

_“Maybe not, but I’m trying. I’m trying really hard Jun… Nino said he wanted to be friends again too. It’s going to be okay now.”_

“Did Nino say this before or _after_ you announced you were no longer in love with him?” Jun growled through clenched teeth.

 _“Uh… After? But before he said that he missed the way we used to be. That’s the same thing, right?”_ Jun was silent, trying to hold back his raging frustration. He could see his own reflection in the glass windowpane and it was actually frightening enough to make him swivel round and face the opposite direction. _“…MatsuJun?”_

Jun breathed out slowly through his nose, willing his voice to remain low and steady when he spoke. He sort of wanted to throttle someone. “You both” he paused to let another hissing breath out, aware that he sounded as quietly murderous as he felt, “are such _idiots.”_

He hung up, not wanting to hear another imbecilic explanation lest he throw the phone through a wall in response. At least their mutual idiocy when it came to these matters was another way they could call themselves a well-matched pair. And oh yes, Jun _did_ intend to see them paired… but beauty sleep always came first.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  
Ohno frowned, closing his phone when it appeared that Jun had, actually, hung up on him. “That’s weird…” He turned to the younger man in the curved booth beside him, who was staring as though he was staring through him. “Nino, did you hear any of that?” He guessed not, as Nino apparently didn’t even notice that he was being addressed. “Spaced out again?... That’s supposed to be my job.” Ohno frowned and waved a hand in front of his face. Nino blinked and looked abruptly away, swallowing multiple mouthfuls of his almost untouched beer. “Nino?”

“Hm?”

“Are you okay?”

“Fine.”

“… You’re mad too?”

Nino turned to him, frowning. “I’m not mad. Who’s mad?”

“MatsuJun is, I think. He said we’re idiots, and then he hung up.”

Nino refrained from cursing. “You called him?”

“Yes…” Ohno nodded slowly; amazed and concerned that Nino had been staring a hole through him for so long and yet hadn’t noticed that he was on the phone or speaking to someone. “Just now.”

“Oh… I see.” Nino was not looking forward to Jun’s wrath, and he was glad he had _yet_ to be on the receiving end of it. He downed another gulp of his drink, adding to his earlier tipsiness.

“I thought he’d be happy…” Ohno mused aloud, sipping his own drink. He looked at Nino, who was staring at the table and nodding along to show he was listening. “I thought you’d be happier too.”

Nino glanced up, meeting Ohno’s gaze. He couldn’t find anything in his expression so he searched his eyes, looking for some flicker of _something_ that would tell him the truth when he doubted Ohno’s words. Without realizing it, he’d moved closer on the curved, cushioned bench and their thighs were brushing. Ohno still kept his gaze, breath shortening nervously at the proximity, and Nino could feel him quivering with tightly wound tension beside him. “Oh-chan… are— are _you_ really happy with this?”

Ohno’s breath hitched, his stare flickering between Nino’s eyes before dropping and being averted to the side. It was Ohno who slid away, putting a foot of space between them. “O-of course… I’m always happy when we get together like this… I’m happy that you still want to be friends.”

Nino bit his lip, nodding and looking away. “Me too.” He said quietly, sinking back against the back of the padded seat. “I’m happy as long as you are.”

Neither bothered starting much conversation, the odd comment dropped between them, but there was nothing personal. They might as well have been mere acquaintances, and there was nothing about the low atmosphere that would have onlookers guess they were supposed to be celebrating.

At three thirty, Nino called Sho to come and get them, of course apologizing for the late hour. Nino was having trouble staying on his feet while moving particularly quickly, but Ohno was clingy and nearly unconscious. Sho practically had to drag him to his car, and decided that they should just come back to his place as he felt too guilty to leave Ohno with his mother in such a state and Nino’s place was too out of the way for him to bother driving there while Ohno could potentially puke in his backseat at any moment.

Ohno got dropped onto the couch, and Sho dug out an old futon to throw on the living room floor for Nino to use.

“There.” He yawned, surveying the last minute set up in ragged PJs with his hair standing up in all directions. “Advil’s above the bathroom sink… do you need anything else?”

Nino shook his head, sitting down carefully on the futon. “Thanks Sho-kun.”

Sho waved his hand in a gesture of ‘don’t mention it’ before flicking off the lights and wandering back to his room. “Good night…” He called groggily, pausing before closing the bedroom door behind him. “…And if anyone gets sick, _I’m_ not dealing with it.”

Of course, Ohno woke up not twenty minutes later, moaning about nausea and something Nino couldn’t really make out. He hauled him hurriedly into the bathroom, and the older man barely made it to the toilet bowl before the liquid contents of his stomach forced their way out.

“Ugh…” Ohno coughed and trembled before heaving again, and Nino had to hold him upright until there was truly nothing left in him to throw up. He collapsed then, falling back against Nino’s chest and slumping there spent and miserably inebriated.

Nino sat back against the side of the tub and stretched, reaching the shelving unit built into the wall and grabbing a couple of facecloths before stretching the opposite direction and turning on the tub faucet. The water ran cool, and he wet both of the small towels, using one to wipe Ohno’s face and the other to wipe away the sweat and press against his forehead.

“Nino…” He breathed a soft sigh; turning slightly so that he could cling to the borrowed t-shirt Nino was wearing and rest his head on his chest.

Nino dropped the facecloths, hesitantly hugging Ohno’s thin body to him. He watched the creases in his forehead even out along with the breath passing through his parted lips. His eyes followed the sharp curve of Ohno’s jaw, the soft roundness of his cheeks, the way his dark eyelashes brushed against his tanned skin.

“If I don’t love you…” Nino whispered to his sleeping friend, ”…then why is this so painful?”

His voice cracked, and he didn’t even care. Nobody was there, nobody would see or know if he let himself break down for once. He shook, biting his lip to keep his sobbing muffled as he held Ohno’s body tighter and let the tears stream in hot trails down his cheeks and neck. If his eyes were red or puffy in the morning, he’d blame it on his hangover.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  
“…This is for the best, Jun.” Nino said lowly.

“Don’t _you_ give me that too!” Jun bit angrily.

“But it’s true.” Nino replied, unfazed by his frustration. “…I’m doing this to make him happy, Jun. It’s what he wants.”

“And what about what _you_ want?” Jun crossed his arms.

Nino’s gaze flickered and he looked away, glancing surreptitiously at where Ohno was seated at one end of the green room couch. “I… I don’t even _know_ what I want, but I like it when he can smile at me, Jun. This can make him happy, and that’s all that matters.”

Jun opened his mouth to retort but Nino quickly walked away, moving to dig around in his bag.

“Whoa, easy there…” Sho said quietly, catching Jun by one arm -while Aiba grabbed the other- and stopping him from pursuing Nino to try and beat reasoning into him. They pushed him gently out into the hall. “Let’s not start a fight.”

“But he— Do you know what’s going on here?!” Jun exclaimed as loud as he could in a whisper. “Do you know what crap they’re into _now?”_

“Yeah…” Aiba said sadly. “Ohno told us…”

“They’re so stupid! We can’t just let them mess up like this.”

“Jun,” Sho said seriously. “I don’t think we should get involved anymore.”

“But they’re driving themselves in circles. This isn’t going to go anywhere if we don’t do something to push them where they should be going.”

“But, MatsuJun…” Aiba glanced at Sho before looking down glumly again and crossing his arms in what was almost a protective self-hug. “… Maybe it’s better to just let them be.”

“…What?” Jun was incredulous.

Sho spoke up. “The fighting’s over Jun, if we get involved things might get bad again. This is a busy time for us, and we don’t want there to be a big falling out in the middle of all these releases and promotions we have going on.”

“So you’re _just_ worried about Arashi?”

“That’s not fair, Jun-kun…” Aiba pouted, looking hurt by the accusation. “You care about the group too.”

“They say they’re happy this way.”

“You believe that?” Jun raised an eyebrow, blocking out Aiba’s sorrowful eyes and instead gesturing inside the open doorway. Nino and Ohno were seated at opposite ends of the couch, studiously immersed in their own pastimes (gaming or texting) and ignoring each other entirely. “Look at them, Sho!”

“I _am_ concerned for them as a friend, but think about it. If things go sour, it’d be hard for them to reconcile during such a public time for us. We’re in the spotlight now, especially those two, and the media and the fans are all watching and reading into their every move. If they’re really not content to stay friends then they can come to terms with that on their own.” Sho reasoned, continuing before Jun could cut in. “I agree, they probably won’t hold out for long and that’s obvious, but I really do think this is something they need to figure out for themselves. So far, our meddling hasn’t really helped anyway.”

Jun pursed his lips, torn between accepting what they were saying and arguing some more. He had to look away from Sho’s steady gaze.

“I think so too.” Aiba said quietly, inching a little closer to Sho’s side as though to emphasize that they were allies. “… It would mean more if they realized how they felt on their own. Don’t you think so too, MatsuJun?”

Jun sighed irritably; unable to say no even if he’d wanted to when Aiba was using that look on him.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one was a little short! But the next (and FINAL wooo~) chapter skips ahead in time a bit, so this seemed like the right place to end it.  
> Also, heads up for the Explicit rating in the second half of the next chapter!


	14. The Final

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He did the things he did as a joke, and for years that was fine... but turning it into a prank changed everything entirely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the reason for the explicit rating, just so you know!

It was very hard to remain numb.

Nino tried as hard as he could to keep himself under control of the way Ohno made him feel, but it was very difficult. He felt like a windshield that Jun had gotten him to chip and now, however he tried to _ignore_ that chip, it kept spreading into long weaving cracks and it would continue to do so until the glass just shattered. He refused to admit that the windshield needed repair though, instead squinting around the cracks and pretending they weren’t there at all.

He knew that was a bad idea, but he couldn’t think of another option. Besides, it was easy to ignore things when he was busy.

Luckily for him, Arashi was _very_ busy.

For months they rehearsed and planned and promoted almost non-stop for their big, upcoming, beginning-of-summer concert. The hype from the movie had died down in anticipation for the sure to be spectacular tour, which was a blessing, and Nino threw himself into his work. He put all of his focus into following the dance steps, hitting the right notes, and any other tasks he could find, rather than leave any time for wandering thoughts. Wandering thoughts were a definite no-no.

Ohno seemed to have the same idea. Nino wouldn’t admit that his eyes had been straying to the other man whenever he let his guard down, but he’d definitely noticed Ohno working himself much harder than usual. It concerned him a little, but he couldn’t say anything better for his own behavior. Selfishly, he wondered if Ohno still worried about _him_ at all.

“Okay guys!” The dance instructor called them to attention. “Tonight’s the big night so I’ve gone over all the parts we’re still a little rough on. I’m not gonna work you to death here or anything, but we’re going to go over whatever really needs to be looked at. Got it?” They all nodded. “All right, lets get in formation for Pikanchi then. That footwork before the second chorus is still a little slow, and Aiba-san: you’re still adding that extra step in there.”

During the rehearsal, the instructor actually had to ask Nino and Ohno, the two putting significantly more energy into the moves than anyone else, if they were trying to compete or something. They weren’t supposed to use up their energy before the concert even started, but Nino knew his limits and he intended to push them. Hopefully, he’d be so tired by the end of the night that he’d fall asleep without time to stare at the ceiling and wonder why he felt so empty and useless.

“Ah!”

“Leader!” Nino heard Jun exclaim, and looked up just in time to see Ohno stumble tiredly through a turn and lose his balance. He had no time to react before he was knocked to the ground; Ohno sprawled awkwardly and heavily on top of him. Nino tried to sit up immediately, but fell back just as quick when Ohno’s weight didn’t let him and he managed to crack his forehead off of Ohno’s wristwatch instead.

“Oh, shit, are you okay?” Ohno struggled to lift himself up on his knees. “I’m sorry, I tripped up, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Nino mumbled, rubbing his forehead and pulling himself up to a seated position as Ohno moved away. He raised his gaze, breath catching in his throat to find that Ohno was still sitting there and looking just as startled as Nino was to find their faces suddenly so close together. For a moment neither moved. Nino wasn’t even sure if he was _breathing_ as he watched a bead of perspiration slide slowly down Ohno’s temple.

“N-Nino I—… Um…” Ohno blinked, abruptly turning away and clearing his throat. His voice still came out like a weak murmur. “…Sorry…” He got to his feet and hurried across the room to his water bottle, leaving the others to exchange glances and Nino to stay on the floor, staring into space.

“We’ll call that a day then, before someone gets injured.” The instructor announced slowly, looking in confusion at the five group members before gathering his things and leaving. Ohno followed soon after.

Nino bit his lip and sighed shakily before accepting Sho’s hand and being helped to his feet.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

The night air was starting to get warmer as spring finally seeped into summer. The five of them stood on a moving stage platform, ridiculous costumes soaked in sweat and grins stretched ear to ear. Their pulses were still pounding, maybe to the beat of the song they’d just finished, and the cheers of tens of thousands of fans were ringing in their ears.

“It’s been a busy year, hasn’t it everyone?!” Aiba called enthusiastically and met a loud affirmative cheer in response. “Well we’re not done yet! We’ve still got more for you guys!”

“Don’t forget Arashi is releasing a new album next month, featuring all three of the singles we released this year as well as lots more new material. Please listen to it!” Sho announced proudly.

“And MatsuJun’s super cheesy movie ‘A Heart with Wings’ came out on DVD last Tuesday!”

“Hey!” Jun aimed a swat at his leader’s shoulder.

Ohno laughed, dodging away and continuing. “If you haven’t bought it yet you should check it out! It’s actually really good so everybody should see it.”

“I guess this is a great time for summer romance.” Jun put in, taking his turn to advertise during the MC. “Has everybody seen ‘Blue Seas under Orange Skies’? I bet you have right?! Who would miss two Arashi members acting alongside each other in the same movie?” He laughed at the audience’s positive reaction. “Well, that movie’s having its DVD release on the twenty third, so any of you who want to re-watch those never before seen Ohmiya moments can rewind the kiss scenes as many times as you want! Keep an eye out for it!”

Again, there was crazy cheering. Somebody started a chant of ‘Kiss! Kiss!’ (Had Nino seen who it was he’d have given them the evil eye) and the rest of the masses took it up shortly. Nino and Ohno looked at each other awkwardly. Aiba bit his lip as though to hold back a smile, Sho looked uncomfortable on their behalf, and Jun was watching them intently.

Nino’s earpiece crackled and their manager’s voice began speaking into his ear. _“What are you doing? Hurry up, we’re behind schedule as it is.”_

“Are you serious…?” Nino complained lowly, and the audience cheered before upping the volume of their chanting as his response was picked up by his mic.

_“You’re Ohmiya SK, aren’t you? You brought this upon yourselves, and people will think it’s weird if you don’t keep it up now.”_

Nino sighed, turning to Ohno and taking only a split second to mentally brace himself. The sooner he did this and got it over with, the less time he’d have to chicken out. Ohno barely had time to frown before Nino grabbed him by the shoulders, holding him still as he leant in to kiss him softly and swiftly on the lips. The deafening cheers that erupted around them didn’t give him the opportunity to savor the gesture any longer and he broke away just as quick, letting Ohno go and pasting his trademark smirk on his features. “That’s just a sneak preview. You’ll have to buy it if you want anything else.” He chuckled, gesturing for the group to move back to the main stage for the next number and decidedly ignoring both the pounding of his heart against his ribcage and the growing and aching emptiness within his chest.

Dance steps and song lyrics filled his mind quickly and there was no room for other thoughts or feelings any more than there was room for error. But an hour later, when they stood surrounded by fountains and bright lights, when the closing instrumental music was playing and the audience was screaming their loudest for them, he held Ohno’s hand and watched the fireworks be reflected in his eyes as they bowed. The lights dimmed, and Nino’s stomach turned as, for just a moment, he allowed himself a chance to really think.

“What am I doing…?” He whispered, and the boom and crackle of the fireworks finale high above them swallowed his words into the night, unheard by even his _own_ ears.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  
Sho was mildly surprised to find Nino standing outside of his hotel room door not long after they got back from the concert, hair still damp from the shower he’d obviously taken and pajama t-shirt on backwards.

Sho yawned, wishing he were still in the large bed behind him despite wanting to help out his younger friend. “Nino, why am _I_ the one you always wake up in the middle of the night?” He sighed, rubbing his head and making a mess of his hair. “You’re not drunk _this_ time are you?”

Nino shook his head. “I’ve been thinking…”

“And is that more or less problematic than you being drunk?” Sho asked wearily.

Nino frowned, pushing past him and into the room. “It should be less _messy_ anyway.”

“Good enough…” Sho followed him in, closing the door behind them. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Well _I_ can. Why are you keeping _me_ up?”

Nino sat down on the edge of the bed, testing the mattress’s bounciness and then shrugging.

Sho sighed and sat beside him, putting an arm around his narrow shoulders. “Is it Ohno?” A small nod, and Sho pulled him motherly to his side. “…What exactly have you been thinking?” He coaxed softly.

Nino was silent for a minute before letting out a tiny sigh and sinking against the newscaster as though he’d just melted. “… You and Aiba never kiss.” Sho jumped, nearly tossing Nino right off the bed in shock at the comment before he could get a hold of himself. Nino continued. “You’re close, but you never do stuff like that.”

“W-well, that’s because—“

“Because you don’t love him?”

Sho paused before shaking his head. “N-no… I _do_ love him.” Nino looked up curiously. “As a friend.”

‘As a friend…’ Nino mouthed silently, looking away and frowning. “So does that mean we—? Do you think I—…?”

Sho nodded, guessing he knew what Nino couldn’t bring himself to ask verbally. “I’d guess that’s the case, yeah. We _all_ would guess that, actually.”

“Is it… obvious?”

Sho smiled kindly, ruffling Nino’s hair and pulling him close. “We pretty much grew up with you guys, and even the _fans_ –who only see your public sides- have their speculations. Of course _we_ would clue in to how you two felt.” Nino looked away, eyes closed in an almost grimace as he worried his lip. “Aiba figured it out first, he’s always been intuitive like that, but once he pointed it out it made perfect sense to the rest of us too.”

“…I screwed this up big time…” Nino breathed.

“No you didn’t.” Sho soothed, rubbing his back. “You guys really care for each other. You can sort this out if you take the first step.”

“No, wait, maybe I should just leave things the way they are. He’s happy now, right? If I mess everything up again I’ll—“

“Nino, stop for a second. You _know_ what would really make Ohno happy is more than just your _friendship_. And you have to stop using his ‘happiness’ as an excuse to chicken out. What would make _you_ happy? Think about it seriously, because I know you’re not happy the way things are now.”

Nino closed his eyes, picturing the happiest memories he had. Some were with his family, some were with Arashi and his other friends in the entertainment industry, and most were with Ohno Satoshi; smiling, laughing, holding hands, kissing in the rowboat… The hollow spot in his chest ached, and he belatedly recognized what that growing emptiness was. His heart started pounding again, blood rushing through his veins like mad. His insides felt light and fluttery and he couldn’t seem to get enough air as he itched to run and scream and shout.

Sho chuckled, watching the shock and urgency appear in his features before pushing Nino lightly away from him and off the bed. “Go, _I’m_ not the one you need to bother right now. Fix things.”

Nino nodded, rushing towards the door on legs that trembled and which he could barely recall how to use.

“And Nino,” Sho called, smiling softly, “be happy.”

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  
“OH-CHAN!” He pounded his fist against the hotel room door, not caring if he woke everybody up in the process as long as Ohno heard him. “ _SATOSHI_ , OPEN UP!”

Several thumping knocks later, the lock clicked and the door swung open. Ohno was standing there looking alarmed, confused, and a little annoyed, dripping wet and wearing nothing but a towel around his thin waist. Nino gulped, dragging his gaze back up to Ohno’s and steeling himself mentally.

This was what he wanted. This was _probably_ what they _both_ wanted, deep down… So why deprive themselves any longer?...

“Nino, I was in the bath. What’s—“

Before he could continue, Nino grabbed him by his damp upper-arms, feeling his muscles tense beneath his grip, and pushed him into the room. The door swung closed behind them and when Ohno tried to pull away, Nino turned and pressed him up against it. Ohno gasped as his bare back made contact with the door’s wooden surface, his eyes wide and staring as Nino’s close body kept him trapped there.

“I’m sorry…” Nino whispered. The bedside lamp was the only light on, leaving the room in a muted orange glow. “…But I can’t keep this up any longer.”

“Nino… what are you—“

“—It’s not that I don’t want to be friends.” Nino hurried to cut in. “It’s that… this isn’t enough.” His hands settled on Ohno’s waist, half on the damp white towel and half on his smooth skin. Ohno’s breath caught slightly and he shivered, looking down in shock before raising his gaze to meet Nino’s again. He looked so lost, confused, hopeful and afraid. He seemed to want to question what was happening but couldn’t find the words to do so. Nino just watched him for a moment before sliding one hand up Ohno’s stomach, chest, and neck to cup his jaw gently. “ _Just_ friendship isn’t enough for me anymore.” He took a half step closer, pressing their bodies flush with each other.

Ohno tensed immediately, making a soft noise of protest and reaching up to catch Nino’s wrist as if only just remembering how to move his limbs. “Wait!” He gasped softly. “…W-why?”

Nino stilled before letting the corners of his lips slide into a slight smile. He stroked Ohno’s cheek with the pad of his thumb, attempting to calm him with the action. “…Because, I must be in love with you.”

Ohno’s mouth fell open slightly and he could do nothing but gape at the younger man, unsure whether to believe what he’d heard or not. His grip on Nino’s wrist slackened and his gaze flickered as though he was searching for the truth or lies in Nino’s anxious stare.

“… Oh-chan…” Nino breathed, leaning a little closer until he could feel Ohno’s short breaths hitting his chin. “… Can I kiss you?”

Ohno’s eyes widened and he inhaled sharply, a soft flush coloring his cheeks. He gave no verbal response so Nino leant in slowly, giving Ohno ample time to shove him away, and kissed him. Ohno did nothing but breathe shallowly while Nino’s lips ghosted across his, dragging and pushing, slowly and gently. Ohno seemed to soften with each gentle touch, one hand sliding up hesitantly to grip Nino’s arm while the one on his wrist slipped into Nino’s hair, angling his head to a more comfortable position. He sighed into the kiss, eyes shut as he began to kiss back.

Nino nipped lightly at his bottom lip, urging him to open so that he could slip his tongue inside. His left hand left Ohno’s hip to stroke up and down his bare side, slowly and softly. His palm and fingers slipped easily over the raised points of muscles and ribs, seeking out every dip and curve and savoring the warmth of Ohno’s body beneath his fingers.

Ohno hummed pleasantly in response, clinging a little tighter and a little closer to Nino’s slim form. He shifted his weight to slip one of his legs between Nino’s, grinding down and gasping in time with the younger man. He began repeating the movement, latching himself first to the corner of Nino’s mouth and then to his jaw and the long column of his neck while Nino bit his lip and closed his eyes to avoid releasing any noises. The room was suddenly growing uncomfortably warm, his pajamas uncomfortably tight, and Ohno to be the most comfortable thing he’d ever had in his arms.

Nino pulled his own shirt off while Ohno’s hand found its way between them and his long fingers began pushing down the waistband of Nino’s pajama pants. Nino balanced himself a little precariously to help push them off with his feet, and Ohno took the moment of distraction to push him away and in the direction of the bed. Nino stumbled, struggling to keep standing as the fabric tangled around his legs and Ohno advanced, shoving him again. Before he knew it he was toppling back onto the mattress and Ohno was over him, towel discarded and using his tight grip on Nino’s arms and weight on his midriff to keep him from moving.

“Oh-chan?” Nino asked slowly, a little disoriented and also made a little nervous by the fiery and solemn way Ohno was staring down at him.

“I’m tired of games. They’re _your_ thing, not mine.”

“This isn’t a game.” Nino said evenly. “I don’t want to play with you, that’s not at all why I’m here.”

Ohno frowned, presumably warring with himself mentally, and Nino waited patiently while he completed his thought process. “… Then, you don’t mind this.”

Nino gasped, almost biting his tongue as Ohno’s slender fingers wrapped around him, pumping him in speeds varying from long and languid to short and fast. Ohno’s mouth was on his again, forcefully this time. He parted Nino’s lips with no hesitation and kissed him deeply, tasting and searching as though he were searching for answers. Arms made temporarily useless by Ohno’s strength, Nino could do nothing but push up helplessly into Ohno’s hand and try to keep up with the kiss as well as his distracted mind would allow him to.

“Who do you think of?” Ohno said as he broke away to nip at Nino’s earlobe. His voice was demanding, low and forceful, but Nino could hear the tremble that said he was still scared. “Is it really me you’re seeing right now?”

“It is!” Nino gasped, arching a little as Ohno’s thumb dragged over the head of his erection. “Only you! I swear, I’m just—“ He hissed in a deep breath, trying to keep himself together however much his body just wanted to give in and unravel. “—a big idiot who doesn’t know what he has until he thinks it’s— Ah!— gone!”

There was a knock on the door, Ohno stilled like he’d been frozen for a moment before releasing Nino, getting carefully to his feet, and walking slowly to the door. He picked his towel up on the way, wrapping it loosely around himself with hands that visibly shook before pulling the door open. A pause. “… Hello?”

Nino pulled some of the covers around him as he sat up, hearing the frown in Ohno’s voice and leaning forward to peek around into the room’s entranceway curiously. Ohno was alone in the doorway, but Nino could hear a faint but familiarly bubbly giggle coming from down the hall. Ohno bent down, picking something Nino couldn’t see up off the ground in the hallway. He turned around, closing the door behind him and staring at the objects in his hand with an unreadable expression. Nino couldn’t see what they were. “Oh-chan…?” Nino said carefully.

Ohno walked slowly back to the bed, tossing the objects he was holding at Nino lightly and sitting tiredly a foot or so away on the mattress while Nino examined and identified what he’d just caught. “From Aiba-chan.” The older man said simply, gesturing at the condom and small bottle of lube before reverting to staring down at his hands.

Nino didn’t know what to think about that, torn as he was about being thankful, annoyed, and a little disturbed by Aiba’s consideration. He bit his lip; his almost painful arousal was nearly forgotten as he watched Ohno’s downcast expression out of the corner of his eye. “Oh-chan… are you mad?”

Ohno stopped fidgeting with his hands, instead clenching fistfuls of the white towel. “… I don’t know. I don’t know what to think or feel right now…”

“You believe me, right?” He waited, but Ohno didn’t answer. Nino took a deep, trembling breath, running a hand through his hair and looking away. “…Should I just go?” He asked quietly.

“… Does that mean you’re giving up?” Ohno questioned softly. He raised his stare to meet Nino’s beside him before slowly laying back onto the mattress. “That’s it?”

“O-of course not!” Nino twisted around in his seated position to maintain eye contact. “But if you don’t want to hear it, then I—“

“I want to hear it.”

Nino pursed his lips, meeting Ohno’s gaze as long as he could before swallowing the lump in his throat. This was important and he knew it. If he messed this up, there would probably be no second chances. The look in Ohno’s eyes was enough to tell him that. “I’ve messed things up so many times…” He began, trying to keep the waver out of his voice. “I’m really stupid, I’ve made so many mistakes… Trying to play that joke on you in the first place, i-ignoring the way you kept making me feel… then agreeing that we should just be friends… Oh-chan, _Satoshi_ , I— I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t figure this out earlier.” He paused, inhaling shakily and praying that he wouldn’t start to cry. Ohno swallowed, turning his gaze away to stare at the ceiling, and Nino could see wet tear tracks running down from the corners of his eyes. “…I can’t stop thinking about you.” He whispered, and Ohno closed his eyes like hearing the words made him ache. Maybe they did. “I want you to be happy, but I can’t stop wanting to be near you, wanting to— to touch you for real, not just for show… I don’t want to pretend that I’m content when I can’t hold you, or when I can’t properly tell you how I feel.”

“… How you feel?” Ohno managed, and his voice sounded strained.

Nino looked away to face the wall in front of him. Tentatively he reached out, placing his hand just above Ohno’s knee and feeling the older man tense and tremble at the touch. “I mean it, _really_ mean it this time, when I say that I love you. Even if you don’t feel that way for me anymore…” He bowed his head and for a moment there was nothing but his words hanging in the air.

After a long pause, he felt the warmth of Ohno’s hand on his shoulder, pulling him gently to turn him around. Nino followed, only to be pulled down into a tight embrace against Ohno’s bare chest. He sniffled and choked a little, trying to bite back a quiet sob as he listened to Ohno’s heartbeat and felt the rise and fall of his ribcage beneath him. “…I can’t quit you.” Ohno said softly, and Nino felt the wavering notes of his speech reverberate through his body. “But I’ll quit pretending that I can.”

Nino felt like he was holding his breath, hardly daring to hope that meant forgiveness. Ohno rolled them onto their sides, facing each other, and when Nino met his gaze he just knew. There was vulnerability there, scars left from past mistakes, but there was also trust, and there was also affection. Ohno kissed him slowly, conveying all that was in his eyes in the way he cupped Nino’s jaw carefully, as though he were fragile, and the way he held him close to his body with an arm around his middle, as though he were afraid to be left behind or to let go of the moment.

Pressed up against each other like they were, things changed quickly. The covers and towel fell away as their pace picked up and each pressed closer, deeper. Nino took the lead, lifting himself up on his elbow and guiding Ohno back onto his back while their kiss took on an almost frenzied air. His right hand dragged down Ohno’s side, leaving light scratches in the wake of his nails and settling firmly on the jut of his hipbone. Ohno pulled him tighter, arching up to try and create more friction between them while he whimpered for the contact not being quite enough. “Nino… please…” He breathed, fumbling around in the tangled bedcovers while Nino shifted to address his mouth’s attention to Ohno’s collarbones and chest. Ohno’s hand closed around the objects he was looking for and he slipped the condom into Nino’s hand.

Nino pulled back to stare at the little package nervously. “I don’t really have any experience with…” He trailed off awkwardly, watching Ohno pop the cap on the lube and squeeze some out onto his fingers. The brunette bent his legs and shifted a little awkwardly so that he could reach down between them and find his own entrance. Nino watched with wide eyes, feeling his own aroused self twitch as he watched Ohno stretch himself with flushed cheeks, head thrown back, eyes closed tight, and swollen lips parted. Small gasps and whimpers escaped him, and Nino couldn’t tell if he was enjoying it or in pain. “Are— are you okay…?” Nino asked tentatively, feeling a little useless where he was kneeling.

“I’ve… to myself… before.” Ohno panted, looking at him from beneath his lashes and gasping particularly loud as his fingers brushed something that made his toes curl and his eyes roll back. “Nino… ‘m almost ready…” He grit out, and Nino hurried to tear open the condom wrapper, grab the lubricant, and prepare himself for what was to come.

Nino screwed his face up into one of intense concentration as he entered the older man slowly, struggling not to lose control of his movements in that heat that was near painfully tight around him. As he reached the limit to how far he could go, Nino stayed positively still, afraid any actions he made would injure the shallowly breathing man beneath him. Ohno had to urge him to move, and when he did he couldn’t help letting out a low groan. Ohno’s legs were wrapped around him, pulling their bodies flush as he built gradually up to a steady rhythm, his thrusts slow and deep.

Ohno pressed back to meet him, panting and crying out whenever Nino hit upon the spot that made his vision whirl. The noises leaving his full lips and meeting Nino’s ears were gradually becoming too much and their pace began to fall apart, becoming increasingly more erratic as the need to savor everything gave way to the need for release. Ohno’s hands abandoned tangling in the bedcovers in favor of reaching one between them to pump himself in time with each thrust of Nino’s hips. The other he twisted into Nino’s hair, pulling his head down into a deep, messy kiss that swallowed his moans.

Nino changed the angle of his thrusts to accommodate the kiss, holding himself up on one arm while the other joined Ohno’s between them, fingers curling tight around Ohno’s while the older man fisted himself. Ohno had to break from the kiss not a minute later, pulling Nino close as his body tensed and trembled almost violently. “K-Kazu!” He ground out next to Nino’s ear as he came between them, shooting thick, creamy fluid across their stomachs while his muscles clenched and unclenched spasmodically around the other man inside of him.

It was all too much and Nino had no reason to hold out any longer. He bit hard on his lip, almost drawing blood, as his back arched and he shook with the force of his orgasm. It took almost all of his remaining energy not to collapse the moment his body stopped convulsing on its own. Ohno let out a quiet hiss and let his legs fall when Nino pulled out. The brunette stared dazedly at the ceiling, feeling floaty and satiated as he attempted to catch his breath. Nino, meanwhile, got shakily to his feet and disposed of the condom in the bathroom trash, returning to crawl back on the bed with a warm, damp washcloth in hand.

Ohno lay there, body positively slick with sweat and soiled with the results of their lovemaking, his dark skin was adorned with small bites, his hair was a mess and sticking to his forehead, and his lips were bruised and slightly swollen. He was absolutely spent, barely able to turn his head and smile through his exhaustion, but Nino caught the brightness in his eyes and thought that _this_ was the most beautifully alive he had seen him in all the time they’d known each other. His heart sped up, and he wished time would stop because not even a photograph would be able capture the perfection he was marveling at.

Carefully, they cleaned each other up. Nino tossed the cloth aside and Ohno crawled slowly under the covers, tugging Nino in to join him. “I’m tired…” He murmured drowsily, wincing a little and opting to lay on his stomach rather than his back, head on Nino’s chest and arm slung casually over his midriff.

Nino sighed, almost drifting off under that comfortable weight and the post-orgasmic haze still lingering over them. He was just contemplating how loud they’d been, and imagining the teasing they’d have to put up with from the other members come morning, when he felt Ohno shift and cracked his eyes open curiously.

“… Nino?” He said quietly, eyelids drooping as though he was only barely keeping himself conscious. “… What does this mean, exactly?”

Nino frowned slightly. “What does what mean?”

“This… you know, us.” Ohno bit his lip, looking away a little uncertainly. “… What are we now?”

Nino pursed his lips thoughtfully for a moment, recalling what Ohno had answered when he’d been asking the question, all those months before. “… We’re Ohmiya SK, aren’t we?”

Ohno’s brow furrowed. “But we’ve always been Ohmiya SK.”

“I know.” Nino said softly, pushing the hair away from Ohno’s eyes affectionately. “I just didn’t know what that _meant_ before.”

Ohno considered this and then smiled, closing his eyes and relaxing completely. “….I’m happy.” He murmured, voice a little muffled.

Nino closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around the older man and not caring if he was grinning like an idiot. “Me too.”

 

They’d always been Ohmiya. That was exactly the point, and –as long as they were _both_ happy— that could be exactly enough.

 

 

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              end.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Any comments or criticism is greatly appreciated :)


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